Pirates of Nebula Seven — Episode 1

Captain Starlight may just be the greatest pirate in the galaxy, or possibly the worst. It’s a divisive issue, with Starlight on one side, and everyone else in the known universe on the other. This short story is for fans of RICK & MORTY, HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE and TERRY PRATCHETT. The ongoing series follows the ludicrous adventures of the egotistical Captain Starlight and his bizarre crew of space pirates: fierce warrior-queen Varrax, cowardly mental health counsellor Alan, the overly emotional robot X-359, the insane plant woman Booglox, and their mistreated cabin boy Billy. “Captain Starlight’s Log. Star Date: April 10th My loyal crew and I are visiting my old haunt Nebula Cove, floating near the outskirts of Nebula Seven, for some much needed rest and recuperation. My twelve-year-old cousin Billy is starting to settle into his new role as Cabin Boy, although he’s still shaken from the, ah, incident the other week. He’d been sent on a tethered spacewalk to clean the windows, all suited up in a spacesuit for the first time, but unfortunately we forgot about him and blasted off at lightspeed with Billy still in tow. We dragged him for several billion miles at unimaginable velocity, unable to hear his screams, before the tether cable eventually snapped and he was left spinning alone in interstellar space, lightyears away from any form of civilisation, with a very finite amount of oxygen in his suit. It took several hours before we noticed our oversight, and by the time we returned, Billy was down to his last breath of recycled oxygen. Still, all’s well that ends well, and his night terrors are becoming less frequent. I am firmly of the belief that these sorts of escapades are good for the boy and will build his character. We’ll make a man of him yet! I’m sure he’ll now enjoy a few days’ leave at Nebula Cove, as will we all, and I in particular am looking forward to a few games of high stakes poker!”

Meet C. Grezo & Rupert Knowles

C. Grezo and Rupert Knowles are a pair of bearded geeks who like dogs, sci fi and comedy. They wrote the hit Audible sitcom Sheltered and the movie How to Stop Being a Loser, but the Pirates of Nebula Seven series of novelettes is their true passion. Hope you enjoy!