Attracted to ADDICTS? Break the Patterns of Codependent, Unhealthy Relationships

| May 9, 2013


Attracted to ADDICTS? Break the Patterns of Codependent, Unhealthy Relationships

“TRINA HAYES HAS DONE IT AGAIN! In Attracted to Addicts? she provides a clear road map to explore the powerful impact that attraction to addicts has on our relationships and personal happiness. I found myself addicted to reading this book, reading some passages over and over again as I gained insight into myself and my relationships. While there is no question that substance abuse is a destroyer of relationships, it is our personal addiction to, “I’m not enough,” “I’m not worthy” and “I’m not lovable” that are the roots of all addictions. Thank you Trina for your loving wisdom and that “It’s ALL about LOVE.”
– Susyn Reeve, best-selling author of The Inspired Life

From Trina M Hayes, the author of Just Love Her: A Mother’s Journey of Healing Through Her Daughter’s Drug Addiction comes a revealing new concept. Hayes calls it ATA3—attraction to addicts, addiction and addictive behavior.

Her new book, Attracted to ADDICTS? Break the Pattern of Codependent, Unhealthy Relationships is designed to gently guide you through layers of personal insights and emotional healing. It is a gift for those who have thought they were alone in attracting unhealthy relationships time after time.


If you answer “yes” to more than half of these questions -this book is a wake-up call that will empower you. Learn how you have attracted unhealthy relationships and start changing your life’s course now.



1 His/her mood swings can be sudden and frightening.
2 They seem to have no moral boundaries.
3 They can lie without blinking and continually lie.
4 Their attitude is that the rules do not apply to them.
5 They habitually blame others for their circumstances.
6 They promise to ‘never do it again’ whatever ‘it’ may be.
7 They hide or minimize the extent of their alcohol or drug use.
8 They do almost everything – from sports to food- to an extreme.
9 They can justify almost any behavior and convince you of it.
10 They find it difficult to be intimate or discuss intimacy.

1 You feel embarrassed because you’re involved with another addict.
2 You wonder how you ended up in this situation once again.
3 You find yourself being more angry than usual.
4 You have allowed the addict to change the direction of your life.
5 You often feel as though you must walk on eggshells around him/her.
6 You start to feel as though you may be losing your mind.
7 You drink more than usual when you are with him/her.
8 You find it hard to believe that s/he is lying to you again.
9 You always want to believe that things will change ‘this time.’
10 You worry about what others will think if you leave yet another relationship.


“Sometimes,” says Hayes, “the only way to identify why these unhealthy attractions are in your life is to recognize that the common denominator of all your past relationships has been you.” She adds that with this realization, you can take back your power and create peace in your life. “By understanding why you have attracted certain people into your life,” the author asserts, “you can let go of unhealthy relationships and learn how to attract and build new, healthy relationships.”


“There are few resources that give this topic the weight it deserves. You hear the terms co-dependent, dysfunctional, or enabler, but what do those really mean? What do they look like? and How do these conditions present? Because one of the aspects of addictive illness is the inability of those involved to accurately assess their own life system for problems, how can you tell when you are caught up in a relationship that is at best unhealthy – at worst life threatening? What can you do about it? How can you help someone you care about who is caught up in it? These are the questions that Trina Hayes addresses in this wonderful book – Attracted to Addicts?”
– Chris Schroeder, Afflicted and Affected Radio Show Host


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