Timeliner: Like Moths to Light

| October 30, 2015

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Timeliner: Like Moths to Light

A sci-fi comedy novel written in English, by an Italian author whose second language is French.

Hello, this is the author. I tried getting someone important to write something fascinating and inspiring here, sadly, the only people I know that bear any importance are my family and as such, they are rather irrelevant to you, the potential reader. I then tried to contact a former English teacher of mine so that he could write the foreword but for some reason he is the last remaining person on the planet without any social media accounts, not even Google Plus. I tried resorting to smoke signals to track him down but that failed miserably and instead I got ticketed by the local fire department.

So I gave up trying to find someone important to fill this space, instead enjoy this excerpt I’ve hand picked with my eyes from the book I typed with my fingers. Note that if you attempt reading the whole book, in your head, with an Italian accent you will fail: My Italian accent is terrible!

“Within half a second they had cleared the living room, it was empty except for the ugly furniture and a few cats. In the hallway nothing was found either and as they stepped in the kitchen, both were startled as two house-cats hissed at their sight with the immediate result that Trixie almost blew one away by discharging her weapon, mercifully, for the cat at least, she didn’t open fire.

The cat did wind up with a red dot on its forehead for about two seconds as Trixie recovered from her startle. Two seconds was long enough for about four other cats to take notice of the luminous dot and jump out at the first cat, then, as Trixie realized that’s all they were; cats, she moved her aim away from the now all out brawl that had erupted among the half dozen cats in the vicinity. The first cat she had aimed at, interpreted the action of all the other cats jumping at it as an aggression, as a result it had taken evasive action but it was now raised on its rear paws much like a ninja warrior would, back curved towards its front. It was about to take a much more offensive stance than just being “evasive.”

Trixie moved her aim away from the area and towards the bedroom, she loved the red laser aim almost as much as the clowder of cats did. At first she tried to keep it low to the ground, like she had seen actual actors do as they portrayed special ops members in movies.

Then she realized that was no help as it just triggered further altercations among the group of cats that were now following it around. Her second great idea had been to hold the aim up to the surrounding walls, sadly this only exacerbated things among the cats as not only were they still following the dot around, but they were now jumping all over the wall, some using furniture as stepping stones to jump up, and as a result they were tipping over plants, vases, lamps and other various and noisy trinkets.

Sighing, she decided to turn off the laser aim. This helped subside the glaring of cats as some of them simply walked away, no longer interested by the game. Two cats were still having a heated argument behind her now, near the living room hallway, she decided to ignore them and try to calm down a bit.”

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