Back To You

| August 26, 2017


“Below me lies a fat old man, warm and sleepy in his bathtub, his belly sliced open, bleeding out in front of the woman he loved. Loves, even when it is she that holds the kitchen knife. I can clearly see her tiny hands as she rolls the knife around and he just lies there, his eyes glazed over, doing nothing. The fool, some people you can’t help. Idiot, his head seems even bigger from up here. From up here it looks like– wait, that’s my head. That’s my belly… that’s me. I’m the old man.”

I blink and I’m sitting on my ass, a ball rolling in front of me and mother is screaming about not playing ball inside and… ah, I think I know this. Life flashing by no? I read somewhere that the brain does this to find a solution to a problem. Racing through all the data it has. A problem like being stabbed by your wife? I doubt it. Shit, I’m dying then. Mother waves her finger at me and tears roll down my eyes.

I blink and now I’m reading. Reading… what? What is this all about? Right, I guess I’m supposed to be thinking that. Thinking what is this book about? Stupid, I’ve got so much stuff I should be doing and I’m here wasting my time. I get distracted way too easily. I’m going to stop reading now– yes, and not because you wrote that. You think you’re being clever? No, I am making this decision, made that decision. Yes, me. I’m going to stop reading now!

Back To You: Edward is bleeding out in his bathtub, his wrist slit, suicide, at least so it would seem. He doesn’t remember trying to kill himself, he doesn’t remember how he got here, why his wife is standing over him holding a kitchen knife. Edward desperately tries to piece the puzzle together as his life flashes by and he inhabits different selves, seeing his life play out from different perspectives while hurtling between the past, present and future, hoping to avoid his imminent demise.

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