An Oracle Walks into a Bar (The Misadventures of a Paranormal Post-Relationship Personal Effects Repossession Specialist, Book 1)

When a horoscope-writing oracle hires shapeshifter August Shade to repo her magic eyeball, he knows the job is going to suck. One, he hates horoscopes. Two, he hates people that read horoscopes. Three, she hasn’t even lost her eyeball… yet.

August Shade has found his niche. The cynical shapeshifter knows all too well that most relationships don’t last. He also knows that after a messy breakup, most people–human or otherwise–just want two things: their stuff, and to never see their ex again. For a reasonable fee, August can help. He’s a post-relationship personal effects repossession specialist. Satisfaction not guaranteed, but at least you’ll have your favorite whatever back.

Vilde Tank has found her destiny. Guided by her horoscopes, the huldra hires August to reclaim an unusual book. It reveals the secret of the Zodiac’s thirteenth sign, bestows its reader with the power to write their own future, and is currently in the possession of her vampire ex-lover.

Clarissa Steyer has found her calling. The oracle writes horoscopes for the local paper. Her celestial predictions help keep the world spinning. Now August is in all of her visions and the world might be coming to an end. She knows that the shapeshifter can change into a lot of things, but can he change the future?

Plagued by the oracle’s horoscopes, haunted by a dark past, and grappling with his penchant for making bad decisions, the only sure thing about August’s future is that it looks short.


An Oracle Walks into a Bar is a great read for fans of Jason Pargin (John Dies at the End), Dan Willis (Arcane Casebook), Margaret Lashley (Moth Busters), and Douglas Adams (A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy).

Other titles in the series include: A Scarecrow Wins an Award and A Siren Sings Her Heart Out.

Other books by Scott Burtness include: Wisconsin VampNorthwoods Wolfman, and Undead Cheesehead.

Meet Scott Burtness

Folks say you should write what you know. That’s damned good advice, so I write about ordinary Midwesterners making an extraordinary mess of things. Hey- if the flannel fits…

Oh, one more thing. “Ordinary” totally includes vampires, werewolves, zombies, witches, shapeshifters, aliens and more!

The power of humor: How to beat stress with laughter

I take you on a hilarious journey through the world of stress, providing practical advice, relatable anecdotes, and side-splitting jokes along the way. From identifying the sources and signs of stress to developing your sense of humor and applying it to various life scenarios, this book covers it all. Say goodbye to stress and hello to laughter with “The Power of Humor: How to beat stress with laughter”. It’s time to unleash your inner comedian and discover the transformative power of humor in your life.

Meet Marek Porubský

When I was younger, I used to write poems for our high school magazine. Then I take a break :D. Now I have started jouney of making world better place (Or is it just me that thinks so?). But I think if we want to change the world, we have to change ourselves first.

The Workshop: Week One

Nine writers enter… only one will escape. (Figuratively—the door works fine.) The Workshop: Week One introduces nine competitive college students who will battle for literary superiority and existential purpose over sixteen weeks of their Creative Writing in Various Media course. Who will find a career? Who’s gonna cry all the way home? Who had garlic for lunch? Featuring disparate characters locking horns over prose, poetry, screenwriting, playwriting, and more, The Workshop is a dynamic, meta, and novel novella experience unlike any other.

Meet Matt Mills

Matt Mills is a stone-cold weirdo and wearer of many hats. After graduating from New York University with a bachelor’s degree in Music Theory & Composition, he naturally spent his 20s screenwriting, playwriting, consulting, and winning various unimpressive awards. A survivor of his collegiate creative writing workshop, he has parlayed his favorite course into his oddball eBook series The Workshop.

F*** My Brain!

“F*** My Brain!” is a humorous and relatable book aimed at a young audience. The book delves into themes of belonging, society, and alienation, capturing the challenges of growing up between two cultures. Told with a lighthearted and engaging tone, the book explores the experiences of being a minority in a different country. Through easy-to-read narratives infused with humor, “F*** My Brain!” offers an insightful and entertaining journey for readers, as they navigate the complexities of identity, relationships, and cultural differences. In this book, he takes you on an unforgettable journey, humorously sharing what it’s like to grow up between two cultures. Finding one’s place amid such distinct cultures isn’t always easy. Prepare yourself for a rare reading experience, and we can promise you one thing: This book is anything but boring. “One of the Minds Behind the Netflix Success ‘Home for Christmas'”

Meet Amir Shaheen

About Amir Shaheen: Amir Shaheen is a 36-year-old writer, comedian, and creative producer from Norway. He is one of the creators behind the TV series “Home for Christmas,” a Netflix Originals, and the author of the humorous book “F*** My Brain!” Shaheen’s writing often explores themes of belonging, society, and alienation, as well as the experience of growing up between two cultures. Author page –

Conflict of Interest

Grace Thomas has everything she desires. With three fabulous best friends and a successful career running her late father’s company, her life is exactly where she wants it. Until she falls head over heels…for the enemy. Conflict of Interest is the hilarious first book in the Taking Chances contemporary romance series. If you like strong and savvy heroines, hunky heroes, and snappy dialogue, then you’ll adore Katie Bachand’s sexy boardroom-to-bedroom romp.

Meet Katie Bachand

A coffee-lovin’ romance writer who dreams of tweed blazers and nifty boots but lives in sweatshirts and yoga pants. #livesvicariouslythroughbooks

A Vacuum for my Birthday

Sam is dying to know what she’s getting for her 9th birthday. Her mom tries to throw her off by saying that her present is a vacuum cleaner. This leads Sam to imagine fighting monsters and even saving the world with a robot vacuum. What will she really get for her birthday?

Meet j.m. Gulmire

J.M. is a private educator who is raising a house full of critters and kids.

RIMSHOT, VOL. 1, A Vintage Las Vegas Comedians Favorite Jokes and Anecdotes

Comedienne Phyllis Diller called Cork Proctor “One of the funniest men in Las Vegas.” This is the first in a collection of Cork Proctor’s favorite jokes and funny stories. In it you’ll discover a wide range of age-old and contemporary humor. Some of his favorite jokes and stories are new, some are blue, and some are tried and true.

Meet Cork Proctor

Cork Proctor is a veteran Nevada stand-up comedy legend who performed for five decades in major hotel lounges and showrooms in Reno, Lake Tahoe, and Las Vegas, Nevada, opening for stars such as the Supremes, Donna Fargo, Captain & Tenille, Lee Greenwood and Mel Tillis. He also performed for 9 years on cruise ships for Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines. As an actor he has appeared in movies and in television series. In 1999 he left show business to join the U.S. Peace Corps. Now retired, he lives in South America in Cuenca, Ecuador, where he still delights in making people laugh.

Dead Mimes Don’t Talk

Mimes are being murdered in New York City. The police are asking mimes ‘to say something if they see something’ or, at least mime something. The artists are leaving the city in droves. New York is experiencing a mime drain. What at first appears to be a local homicide investigation, spirals into an international affair. The murderer is being pursued by the police, the FBI and a rag newspaper reporter. The chase is on.

Meet Philip Pak

My name is Ed Filipak, and I write under the pen name Philip Pak. I have had short stories published in Mystery Tribune, Bewildering Stories, Murderous Ink Press and a British publication, Personal Bests Journal. I also have had a collection of short stories published by, Prodigy Gold Books.

The How-Not-To Guide To Parenting And Marriage

“Why do you always have to say something? Can’t you, just once, not say anything?” I had just annoyed my daughter for the third time in a five-minute conversation by telling her she was making a poor choice by paying more for jeans that came with holes already in them. . . which was true . . .but why did I have to say it? She was twenty years old, and if she wanted to pay more for jeans that were ripped and holey rather than pay less for jeans with no holes or rips, who was I to say anything about it? Yet, I couldn’t stop myself. I was that dad.

Meet Jon Ziegler

A few years ago, I decided to write a book filled with the funny stories I had been telling to friends and family, and much to my delight, some people actually found it to be entertaining.

Meandering Sobriety

Mental freedom comes when the mind is sober from the dream within itself – the dream of life. This notion takes the form of the book “Meandering Sobriety” by Quan-Hoang Vuong. Readers will not find complicated philosophical arguments or hard-to-digest scientific results in this book. But in essence, the book is an invitation to look at how we have been looking at life, or in other words: to think about thinking. Inside the book are about 40 very short stories depicting various peculiar angles of reality. The writing is light on the eyes, and the content is light on the mind. Each story is like a sip of a different kind of tea that help you see through the fog of thoughts a little bit further.

Meet Quan-Hoang Vuong

Quan-Hoang Vuong (Ph.D., Université Libre de Bruxelles) is Distinguished Scientist of Phenikaa University (Vietnam). He has served in NAFOSTED’s Scientific Council since 2019 and the Vietnam Institute for Advanced Study in Mathematics since 2021. He has published some 200 papers and books with many leading publishers. He wrote 300 peer-review reports and provided editorial service to over 110 manuscripts.