Olivia Roberts thought she found a perfect way to mend her broken heart – by secretly watching her hot neighbor. And it worked. At least until her little activity got blown and her next-door cutie turned to be a snotty jerk. Realizing she needed to change her way, Olivia did just that. She packed her bags and left for a nice vacation. Mediterranean sun, crystal clear water, and exquisite wine. Bliss.
But her new perfect plan had just one flaw – thinking that her troubles will stay back home. Not if the trouble happens to book the same vacation. And comes in the form of her gorgeous neighbor.
Meet Amanda Lake
When trouble waltzes in, it’s not long before Georgie Shaw and Detective Jack Wheeler step in to solve another mystery!The renowned dancer, Madame Charlotte Carol Chantel, is visiting LA to participate in the World Ballroom Dance Championship. Lunch and a photo op in Arcadia Park with “Mad” Max Marley suddenly go terribly wrong. An angry woman hurls a glass of wine at Madame Chantel along with accusations and threats. Before she can be caught, she runs away and disappears into the crowded theme park.
A Godmother’s Mysterious Death
Carol Ripley, Georgie’s Executive Assistant, is distraught when she finds her godmother and namesake dead a few hours later. There’s no apparent sign of foul play, but Madame Chantel’s death comes as a surprise since the sixty-something dance teacher and performer was in excellent health. It’s even more shocking when the investigators soon discover reasons to treat her death as suspicious, and an autopsy reveals someone murdered Madame Chantel.In the immortal words of Voltaire, “Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world.”
Reading maybe, but not dance, apparently. Dressed as she was when Carol found her, with music still playing in the background, was a tango before dying Madame Chantel’s final act?
Was Madame Chantel murdered by a jealous romantic partner, an obsessed fan, a rival in the competitive world of Ballroom Dancing or someone else? Is Madame Chantel the only target or are other dancers in danger as well?Grab your copy of, A Tango Before Dying in the much-loved Georgie Shaw Cozy Mystery series by USA Today and Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author, Anna Celeste Burke. Don’t wait to find out who murdered Madame Chantel!
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Except it turns out Cory’s father wasn’t a prophet, he was a used spaceship salesman-turned-con artist from the Sagittarius Cluster. And the man who looked like Jesus was actually an alien named Zeus who came to earth to save Cory before the world got turned over to a species that loved the taste of human flesh. All they have to do is get off-planet before a reptilian bounty hunter catches them. If they succeed, Cory can petition the Galactic Government to spare the people of Earth. If they fail, Cory and everyone else on the planet will be turned into lizard poop.
So it turns out Cory’s father had been prophetic about one thing after all: the world was about to end, and only Cory could save it.
Meet Jared Wynn
PRANKS. OIL. PROTEST. JOKES BETWEEN NEWLYWEDS. AND ONE HILARIOUS SIEGE OF A MAJOR CORPORATION.
Remmy grows up with Beth in Bellhammer, Illinois as oil and coal companies rob the land of everything that made it paradise. Under his Grandad, he learns how to properly prank his neighbors, friends, and foes. Beth tries to fix Remmy by taking him to church. Under his Daddy, Remmy starts the Bell Hammer Construction Company, which depends on contracts from Texarco Oil. And Beth argues with him about how to build a better business. Together, Remmy and Beth start to build a great neighborhood of “merry men” carpenters: a paradise of s’mores, porch furniture, newborn babies, and summer trips to Branson where their boys pop the tops of off the neighborhood’s two hundred soda bottles. Their witty banter builds a kind of castle among a growing nostalgia.
Then one of Jim Johnstone’s faulty Texarco oil derricks falls down on their house and poisons their neighborhood’s well.
Poisoned wells escalate to torched dog houses. Torched dog houses escalate to stolen carpentry tools and cancelled contracts. Cancelled contracts escalate to eminent domain. Sick of the attacks from Texaco Oil on his neighborhood, Remmy assembles his merry men:
“We need the world’s greatest prank. One grand glorious jest that’ll bloody the nose of that tyrant. Besides, pranks and jokes don’t got no consequences, right?”
:: PRAISE FOR LANCELOT SCHAUBERT AND BELL HAMMERS ::
“Schaubert recounts a mischievous man’s eight decades in Illinois’s Little Egypt region in his picaresque debut. Remmy’s life of constant schemes and pranks and a lifelong feud with classmate Jim Johnstone and the local oil drilling company proves consequential. This is a hoot.”
— Publisher’s Weekly
“BELL HAMMERS is written in a style not unworthy of John Kennedy Toole and William Faulkner – the vivid characterization of Southern ethnography commingled with stark, episodic spectacle breathes with the spirit of quintessential Americana. It is a text I would happily assign in an American Novel class and would expect it to yield satisfying discourse alongside works in the canon, whether beside the sardonic prose of Mark Twain or the energetically painful narratives of Toni Morrison.”
— Dr. Anthony Cirilla
“Schaubert’s words have an immediacy, a potency, an intimacy that grab the reader by the collar and say, ‘Listen, this is important!’ Probing the bones and gristle of humanity, Lancelot’s subjects challenge, but also offer insights into redemption if only we will stop and pay attention.”
— Erika Robuck, national bestselling author of Hemingway’s Girl
“Myth, regret, the lore of our heritage and the subtle displays of our castes — no one so accurately and imaginatively captures the joys and sorrows of life in the Midwest as Schaubert does here. BELL HAMMERS is a Tree Grows in Brooklyn as told by Gabriel Garcia Marquez if Marquez lived in rural Illinois and only told stories to his grandkids. Seriously a delight to read.”
— Colby Williams, author of the Axiom Gold Medal winning book Small Town, Big Money
“Loved BELL HAMMERS because Lancelot wrote about people who don’t get written about enough and he did it with humor, compassion, and heart.”
— Brian Slatterly, author of Lost Everything and editor of The New Haven Review
“I’m such a fan of Lancelot Schaubert’s work. His unique view and his life-wisdom enriches all he does. We’re lucky to count him among our contributors.”
— Therese Walsh, author of The Moon Sisters and Editorial Director of Writer Unboxed
August Shade has found his niche. The cynical shapeshifter knows all too well that most relationships don’t last. He also knows that after a messy breakup, most people – human or otherwise – just want two things: their stuff back, and to never see their ex again. For a reasonable fee, August can help. He’s a post-relationship personal effects repossession specialist. Satisfaction not guaranteed, but at least you’ll have that special whatever back.
Vilde Tanck has found her destiny. Guided by her horoscopes, the huldra hires August to reclaim an unusual book. It reveals the secret of the Zodiac’s thirteenth sign, bestows its reader with the power to write their own future, and is currently in the possession of her vampire ex-lover.
Clarissa Steyer has found her calling. The oracle writes horoscopes for the local paper. Her celestial predictions help keep the world spinning. Now August is in all of her visions and the world might be coming to an end. She knows that the shapeshifter can change into a lot of things, but can he change the future?
Plagued by the oracle’s horoscopes, haunted by a dark past, and grappling with his penchant for making bad decisions, the only sure thing about August’s future is that it looks short.