comedy

Through the Ages

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It’s darkest before the dawn, but is it darker than a vampire’s soul?

For 400 Years Saito Izumi Has Struggled with What It Means to be Kyuuketsuki–A Japanese Vampire!

In Feudal Japan, during an attack on Kumamoto Castle from a horde of swarming y?kai— mythical creatures born from the darkest depths of Japanese folklore—the samurai Saito Izumi will be forever changed. By morning’s dawn, Saito will be kyuuketsuki, a Japanese vampire!

Join Saito in Feudal Japan as she confronts an army of thunder-beasts, ogre-like oni, and the seductive spider-whore jor?gumo. Creatures as diverse as they are deadly. Then travel with the former samurai as she battles 18th Century Spanish soldiers and vampires along the Spanish Main. Stand with her as she wages war against shape-shifting Mexican nagual, fighting alongside the likes of Davy Crockett, William Travis, and James Bowie to defend the Alamo.

In this heart-wrenching collection of original stories are four terrifying tales from Saito Izumi’s centuries of existing—she doesn’t consider it living—that explore her dangerous and deep personal journey to understand the blackest darkness of an inhuman soul, to discover what it means to live and not simply survive, and most important of all, to learn if a vampire can triumph over evil and truly love again.

The Irish Cycle Series – A unique urban fantasy adventure with a mix of mythological and supernatural elements set in contemporary and historical America.

Meet David Miller

Athena in the Rathole

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Athena is born at the wrong time, to the wrong parents, . Her parents are Greek immigrants trying to find their way in America. Athena bounces between two countries, two cultures, eating Greek eyeball stew and lamb’s brain on the one hand, and ice cream cones with sprinkles on the other. 

Humorously told, Athena must survive her vicious mother, a shaming nun, bullying classmates, and an abusive babysitter. Her mother blames Athena for the family’s troubles and Athena comforts herself by sneaking Greek delicacies. In Greek culture you’re supposed to be pretty and skinny, basically perfect. She is neither of these things. Things go from bad to worse and Athena is sent away to a school for disturbed kids. 

Athena’s only hope is to break free from her mother’s explosive volatility and smothering vice grip. She finds support along the way from an unlikely lot of total strangers, including a Portuguese family, an art teacher, a psychic granny, gang members, and a hooker. Without them Athena doesn’t stand a chance. But will she take the final leap and flee up north before her mother destroys her?

Meet Demi K

Demi K lives in Alaska and owns a restaurant in a small tourist town.

Welcome to D*ck n B*lls Tower!

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What’s it like to live and work deep in forested isolation at a fire tower for six months of the year? While battling mental instability. And the medication prescribed for it. And your Mother. And your Maker. And your Maker’s assassins who see you as nothing more than an easy piece of meat supported by two edible stilts. And inappropriate behaviour around your female supervisor’s posterioso perfectus. And a tendency to enter your wiener boat in too many spankathons. And a multitude of other questionable habits. And, and, and, ad infinitum.

Oh, Tony. Tch, tch, tch.

Meet Tony Butterworth (and his unfortunate sidekick, “Gorby”), a fifteen-year veteran of forestry’s seasonal Game of Towers. A secret worshipper at the altar of that delectable skankstress, Muffy—sixty kilometers to his southeast. Co-conspirator and trusty lookout for Dingleberries’ infamous “Turd Burglar,” Boogie Bowshaw. Sufficiently obsessed with the legendary tower duo, D*ck n B*lls. Novice Cornholer. Whisper Gardell’s new reluctant boyfriend.

Oh, Tony. It’s Uncle Bonzo, mate. Can you smell the shrimp on the barbie? Why don’t you drop in and join us for a round. Where for art thou? Tony. We miss you.

“Hysterical and inventive … an ingenious and brilliant work of art … I won’t be forgetting it any time soon.” – Foluso Falaye (5-Stars: Readers’ Favorite).

“If I had to summarize this cocktail of insanity, I’d say get a tall glass, add one shot of Terry Pratchett, a healthy measure of Hunter S. Thompson, top up with some Jim Jefferies and garnish with one of those special mushrooms people aren’t supposed to eat….” – Michael Gardner (5-Stars: Readers’ Favorite).

“The plot is quirky and completely unique … the narrative throughout is wonderfully vivid and descriptive … this novel will make you laugh but also shed a tear….” – Lesley Jones (5-Stars: Readers’ Favorite).

Meet Jeff Pearson

Jeff Pearson was born in Pembroke, Ontario, Canada, in 1963 and attended Carleton and Lakehead Universities where he mostly majored in Maximum Intoxication / Fiasco Production. Then he went vagabond—rambling / exploring / travelling / working—for years, all over Canada and beyond. For the past twenty years, he has been manning various fire towers deep in the Canadian wilderness. Mr. Pearson’s memoir, Miss Nude Canada’s Shoes (And Other Fiascos) – Act I * Greenhorn, was a 2020 Readers’ Favorite book award winner in the non-fiction humour category. Jeff has been seriously stoned on ASMR since he stumbled upon it in 2014.