Fly, die!

A seagull in an English seaside town acquires a taste for hunting and killing cats. Embarking on a killing spree, the bird inadvertently adds to an adolescent boy’s woes while causing paranoia in local cats. As the cat population diminishes, a brilliant Abyssinian called Joseph chances upon the truth and sets out to restore natural law where cats are the predators, and birds are their victims. Although media and public pressure to catch the cat killer builds, a recession and the uncertainty of Brexit means the underfunded civil service isn’t too interested in solving cat deaths. Eventually, after much public pressure, Constables Franklin and Wilkin are put on the case. Stumbling upon evidence via social media, they find their killer. Unfortunately, their deductive reasoning is flawed, resulting in an innocent teenager taking the fall, adding to his already significant problems. Mrs Crick is only too aware of nature’s cruelty, and although a lover of wildlife, especially the sparrows that play in her garden, nature shocks and scares her sometimes. Having already overcome many traumas in her long life, she suffers more as the seagull and his family reside on her roof. Nature is cruel, but the bloated British civil service is more cruel. And corrupt and stupid, too. Most species try to protect their families, but life is hard, and DNA adapts slowly to cope with environmental changes. While most evolve for the better, humanity seems to get worse and worse. A dark social satire (depending on your point of view), telling a tale about nature, family and politics.

Meet Steven Ryan

At the time of writing, Steve was a middle-aged man with a lacklustre career history. With few strings to his bow, he tried breaking from mundanity by writing a book for the challenge and in the misguided hope of becoming a millionaire. Unconcerned by his glaring lack of ability, he strove to submerge strangers in the absurdity of his imagination. Drawing inspiration from his love of nature, its beauty, simplicity and cruelty. Fly, die! was inspired by Steve’s life and the starkness of life’s unfairness. Although a believer in the maxim, “If you don’t laugh, you will cry,” life elicits many tears, his only hope being that his story provides a little food for thought along with the tears.

MysticMagic Land

NEW RELEASE! There isn’t much to do in the small west Texas town of Goat Horn, except work in the shops, motels, and restaurants that serve the patrons of the beloved theme park known as MysticMagic Land. For five friends – Roxie, Eddie, Westie, Allie, and Stoney – the huge park is their one respite from a boring life in Goat Horn, until they discover there is more to MysticMagic Land than they ever knew. Sometimes, it seems, ghosts and creatures are not just special effects. At first, there’s nothing cooler than having real ghosts at your favorite theme park. But if those ghosts are causing enough trouble to close the place down permanently, the five decide they have to do something about it… even when they’ve never stepped up to face anything before. MysticMagic Land is a light and humorous urban fantasy novella. It is Book One in the upcoming Haunted Theme Park series and is suitable for readers of all ages. No part of this book was created using artificial intelligence (AI) software of any kind.

Meet Janeen O’Kerry

Like many who end up being writers, I’ve worked at many different jobs: riding instructor, horse trainer, computer programmer, and medical transcriptionist. I began my writing career in the early 1980s with articles for several national and regional horse magazines. My friend Hazel wanted to break into writing novels, so together we wrote three: A *Star Trek* novel; a steamy romance; and, finally a sweet romance called *April’s Christmas.* April got us started when Avalon published that book in 1994. After that I sold my own first novel, the historical romance *Lady of Fire,* to Dorchester Publishing in 1995. That was the start of the eleven-volume *Celtic Journeys* series, each of which is a romance set in ancient Ireland and tells a complete story. Today I am a full-time novelist, ghostwriter, and copy editor, and I never use artificial intelligence (AI) software of any kind when creating my books. I can often be found doing workshops and panels at writers’ events and conventions.

Leashed

Jack has some ‘splainin’ to do!

That’s right! Callie Lassiter’s normally well-behaved Great Dane Jack has run off and done the wild thing with the neighbor’s dog. It must be puppy love! It’s doubly embarrassing since she’s a professional dog trainer. Of course, the neighbor would have to be hot, hot nightclub owner bad boy Owen McKay, just the kind of man Callie is determined to avoid.

Owen’s comfortable with his playboy status and the hype in the media. But the ground moves beneath his feet when he gets an eyeful of the girl next door. The Dog Whisperer never looked this good! How can he convince this wholesome honey that his player days are behind him? Maybe Jill, his Great Dane can help him with this dilemma now that she’s pregnant and Callie’s dog is to blame.

Is this bad boy a bad bet?

Beware of dogs, romance and deep belly laughs!

Going to the Dogs is a romp through the urban jungle of New York City to find true love, the perfect cocktail, and expensive heels. Dog is a man’s best friend, but sometimes a woman just needs a hot man in the city. This series will appeal to a mature crowd, especially fans of Sex in The City.

 

Meet Zoe Dawson

Zoe Dawson lives in North Carolina, one of the friendliest states in the US. She discovered romance in her teens and has been spinning stories in her head ever since. Her heroes are sexy males with a disregard for danger and whether reluctant, gung-ho, or caught up in the action, show their hearts of gold. Her imagination runs wild with romances from sensual to scorching including romantic comedy, new adult, romantic suspense, small town and urban fantasy. Look below to explore the many avenues to her writing. She believes that it’s all about the happily ever afters and always will be.

Suckerville

A CREATURE FEATURE WITH TEETH…

JD Speers is having a stretch of bad luck: his wife left him, the law is on his tail, and to top it all off, bloodsucking leech people are attacking his favorite bar. Together with his buddy Rowdy and the barflies of Doc’s Dockside Tavern, JD must stop the suckers before they spread their contagion up and down the Mississippi River.


Meet Chris Sorensen

Chris Sorensen is the bestselling author of The Nightmare Room, The Hungry Ones, The Messy Man, Suckerville and Bee Tornado. He’s penned over a dozen plays for Thin Air Theatre Company and the Butte Theater of Colorado, including A Haunting at the Old Homestead, The Vampire of Cripple Creek, and Dr. Jekyll’s Medicine Show. He lives with his wife and pups in the Garden State of New Jersey, where he splits his time between writing spooky stories and narrating audiobooks. Chris has narrated over 250 titles for Audible Studios, Tantor Media, Recorded Books, and many others. He is a member of SAG-AFTRA and the Horror Writers Association. When he’s not writing or recording, you can find him haunting old bookstores and Indian restaurants.

Bad Luck Chuck: The Unfortunate Adventures of Chuck Avery

In the whimsical town of Crestwood, where peculiar occurrences are the norm, resides an extraordinary man named Chuck Avery. But don’t be fooled by his ordinary appearance – for Chuck possesses a gift like no other: the power of bad luck. In “Bad Luck Chuck: The Unfortunate Adventures of Chuck Avery,” embark on an exhilarating and laughter-filled journey alongside our endearing protagonist. From slipping on banana peels to turning sunny days into umbrella-flipping fiascos, misfortune seems to follow Chuck wherever he goes. But as he grapples with the comical chaos that ensues, he soon discovers that his supposed “curse” is a unique and enigmatic ability that he dubs “Bad Luck Chuck.” In the first chapter, “A Stroke of Misfortune,” delve into Chuck’s ordinary life turned extraordinary as he embraces his peculiar powers. With each turn of the page, you’ll be captivated by his antics and misadventures that leave Crestwood both bewildered and amused. But as Chuck embarks on a quest to uncover the origins of his quirky gift in Chapter 2, “The Curious Origins,” a hidden family secret is revealed. Join Chuck on a journey of self-discovery as he learns that his bloodline boasts a history of peculiar abilities, all tied to an extraordinary destiny.

Meet Sam Steed

Sam Steed is a renowned author known for his captivating storytelling and profound insights into the human experience. With a passion for crafting compelling narratives that touch the hearts and minds of readers, Sam has established himself as a master storyteller in various genres, including fiction, non-fiction, and poetry.

The Lady Justice Trilogy

Lady Justice Takes a C.R.A.P., Lady Justice and the Lost Tapes & Lady Justice Gets Lei’d, volumes 1,2 & 3 in the 45 volume Lady Justice mystery/comedy series, featuring Walt Williams, the sixty-five year-old retiree who decides to become a cop. If you love a good mystery – If you love to laugh – You will love the adventures of Walt and his senior citizen sidekicks. Sixty-five year old Walter Williams always dreamed of being a hero. In Lady Justice Takes a C.R.A.P., follow Walt’s incredible journey from retired realtor to head of the City Retiree Action Patrol. In this action-packed hilarious adventure, Walt and his band of scrappy seniors give Lady Justice a hand by capturing the ‘Realtor Rapist’ and bringing down the ‘Russian Mob’. As a uniformed officer, he and his partner, Ox, find very unorthodox ways of bringing criminals to justice. But they have plenty of help from others in the senior set. Meet sixty-five year old Willie, the former con man, who has given up his shady ways to be Walt’s friend and sidekick. Then there’s Mary, the seventy-five year old apartment manager with a 36 inch baseball bat and an attitude to match. This merry band of seniors is kept on the straight and narrow with words of wisdom from eighty-five year old Professor Leopold Skinner. And what hero would be complete without a heroine by his side? Meet Maggie McBride, Walt’s sweetheart and helpmate, and discover that intimacy doesn’t disappear with the arrival of Social Security. Every Golden Ager knows that as we grow older, we face a whole new set of challenges in life. Walt and his friends meet these challenges head-on and you’ll have a hard time not laughing out loud as they thumb their noses at the ravages of Father Time. I guarantee, after reading Lady Justice Takes a C.R.A.P., you will come away with a new light-hearted perspective and respect for the triumphs and challenges of the senior set. In fact, you may even be prompted to ask your Grandpa what he’s been up to lately! In Lady Justice and the Lost Tapes, Walt and his band of scrappy seniors continue their battle against the forces of evil. When an entire Eastside Kansas City neighborhood is terrorized by the mob, Walt and his partner, Vince, go undercover as a gay couple at the ‘Cozy Corner’ lounge to unravel the mystery. The amazing discovery of a previously unknown recording session of a deceased rock-n-roll idol stuns the music industry, but elation turns to tragedy when the owner of the lost tapes is kidnapped. All of the characters you loved in the first novel, Maggie, Willie, Mary, Ox and the Professor are back and help Walt in his quest for justice in ways you can’t imagine. Meet two new friends, Pastor Bob and Jerry The Joker who fit perfectly into this gang of Golden Age misfits. Walt and his friends prove, once again, that life is far from over after retirement and that the experience, patience and perseverance that come with age can overcome evil deeds and the ravages of Father Time. But did I mention that while Lady Justice is grateful for the assistance, she can’t help laughing at their methods. And neither will you! The beautiful Hawaiian Islands seemed like the perfect place for Walt and Maggie to be married, but in Lady Justice Gets Leid, ancient artifacts, political zealots and a tiny lizard drag the honeymooners from their posh hotel into the steamy rain forest and an icy cave inside a dormant volcano. Willie and Mary travel along as the best man and bridesmaid, but are these wacky friends helpful or part of the problem? What turns up from Walt’s past that turns everything upside down? Can love survive the challenges of age, the wrath of the ancient gods and a past that neither of them suspected? Only Lady Justice knows for sure.


Meet Robert Thornhill

Award-winning author, Robert Thornhill, began writing at the age of sixty-six and in ten short years has penned forty-three novels in the Lady Justice mystery/comedy series, the seven volume Rainbow Road series of chapter books for children, a cookbook and a mini-autobiography.

Lady Justice and the Sting, Lady Justice and Dr. Death, Lady Justice and the Vigilante, Lady Justice and the Candidate, Lady Justice and the Book Club Murders, Lady Justice and the Cruise Ship Murders, Lady Justice and the Vet and Lady Justice and the Pharaoh’s Curse won the Pinnacle Award for the best new mystery novels of Fall 2011, Winter 2012, Summer 2012, Fall 2012, Spring of 2013, Summer of 2013, Spring of 2014 and Fall of 2014 from the National Association of Book Entrepreneurs.

Many of Walt’s adventures in the Lady Justice series are anecdotal and based on Robert’s real life.

Although Robert holds a master’s in psychology, he has never taken a course in writing and has never learned to type. All 53 of his published books were typed with one finger and a thumb!

His wit and insight come from his varied occupations, including thirty-three years as a real estate broker.

Small Stories: A Perfectly Absurd Novel

The Town Administrator is extorting residents! Subversive senior citizens are on the march! Crazed ponies rampage through the streets! Exclamation marks keep popping! up! everywhere! Duncan and Maya Small have just relocated to a new town. Again. And almost immediately, Duncan is ready to move on thanks to a power-obsessed local official who has it out for him. But Maya has ideas of her own. The Smalls soon discover nothing in their new town is at it seems, but one thing is certain – there’s something funny going on. Small Stories: A Perfectly Absurd Novel, is a comic tale about life, power, and new beginnings in a quirky little town that’s decidedly off-the-wall, yet remarkably familiar. It’s about the last Welcome Wagon, secret societies, and bake sales. It’s about Duncan Small’s fixation on process and Maya Small’s unforeseen celebrity. It’s about unexpected friendships, which may turn out to be the best kind there are.

Meet Rob Roy O’Keefe

Rob Roy O’Keefe was raised in the Antarctic by a colony of emperor penguins, which explains both his love of fish and his intense anxiety when in the company of sea lions. At the age of 12 he left to go on walkabout, but upon learning that Australia was over 3,000 miles away, he took the more expedient route from Cape Melville, Antarctica to South America’s Cape Horn. He wandered north through the Andes, accumulated an abundance of practical knowledge, such as how to convince a hungry condor that you are not carrion. He eventually stumbled upon the hut of an Incan shaman who took him on as an apprentice. After a decade of immersion into the mysteries of the unseen world, Rob departed, fully prepared for his eventual success in the fields of talking, commuting, and sitting behind a desk. Today, Rob resides in New England’s Merrimack Valley, where he lives in a tree house made of Good Humor popsicle sticks held together by the discarded dreams of retired sailors.

Helen’s Melons Fly South

Helen has a dilemma when it comes to her melons. Along with her friend Ellen, they discreetly divulge their problem, that makes you question whether there may be a subtle undercurrent of satirical naughtiness. This book is clean for children, but I would advise parental guidance for sake of anybody that may be sensitive to this form of word play. Suffering from a bad bout of gardening, Helen is unable to grow perfect melons, unlike her friend Ellen, and takes matters into her own hands to rectify the matter. In a sensational series of events, can Helen sort out her melons, or will Ellen reign supreme? Read on and find out. Inspired by completely untrue events, the title says it all, whilst also saying precisely zero or less. I hope this book makes you laugh, as the pilot copy we created went down a storm, and had people bent double with laughter.

Meet Jamie Greenlees

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations. Follow Jamie Greenlees I, Jamie Greenlees, have been involved with crass parody in one form or another since I can remember. I am an old soul, and ‘Curseanova’ is my first self-published book, having written numerous satirical articles for ‘Figure 8 media’. I have mapped out an idea for a second novel, so get ready to not buy it. I currently work full time for a North American Insurance Company, and despite the content of this book, I live happily with my girlfriend of five years now in South East Essex. My favourite saying is ‘morons take a knife and stab people in the back, whereas the wise take a knife, cut the cord, and set themselves free from the morons’. I listen to and DJ vinyl only jungle and drum and bass music, and often carve a face into jacket potatoes before I stick them in the oven, as It’s always nice to have some company for dinner. My pipeline dream is to have enough money to build a modern and self-sufficient off grid home in a remote part of the World, such as Alaska, and my best friend at work is whichever one brings cake and sausage rolls in to the office for sharing, which today was Brenda – I love that old trout. I am a firm believer that Zombies DO exist, having once looked at myself in the mirror before my breakfast Red Bull. Finally, I find it strange that when a cat licks its bottom people find it ‘cute’, yet when I do it, everybody on the train refers to me as a ‘weirdo’.

Beast Be Gone

Creatures in your basement? Undead spooking your castle? Infestation of goblins? Beast Be Gone will clear out those pesky pests and save your health and business – (no dragons)

Adventurers rampage across the land, stealing everything from bread rolls to ancient heirlooms, slaughtering countless innocent monsters in their hunt for glory.

Eric, the owner of Beast Be Gone pest control, knows that most creatures can be removed with a bit of repellent, however the adventurers want to do things the flashy way; blowing up half of the dungeon with fireballs in the process.

With no work left, Eric is broke and desperate. That is until a young woman equipped with mechanical gadgets becomes his apprentice. Together they uncover the mystery of a diabolical plot that answers the timeless questions about adventuring…

Why are there so many Chosen Ones? Are goblins inherently evil or are they just misunderstood? Why do all the shopkeepers say they have the best swords in the land? What are the socio-economic implications of all these sword merchants?

Somebody wants a world full of adventurers, but why…?

Terry Pratchett meets Ghostbusters in an RPG world.

Beast Be Gone is a new fantasy comedy novel, which explores the stories of the underdogs of fantasy tales, sometimes known as NPC’s. They’re normal folk just wanting to go to the shops without getting stabbed by a sneaky guy in a cape who got bored of hunting goblins.

A must-read for anyone who loves Dungeons & Dragons, RPG’s and online games (although you’ll never be able to play them again without feeling bad for the men who have to clear up the mess you left behind in dungeons).

Suitable for adults, YA and teens. Available in hardcover (hardback), kindle, ebook and paperback. First published August 2021.


Meet A L Billington

Who is A L Billington? Some say he is just a myth, a phantom, a whisper on the lips of a kindly gentleman. Or maybe he’s just some bloke with access to a word processor and too much time on his hands. Who calls them word processors these days anyway? Turns out A L Billington is old enough to use the term ‘word processor’, yet only ironically, which should tell you exactly how old he is. He’s also the one writing this bit, so it’s very strange that it’s in the third person.

In case you were wondering, the ‘A’ stands for Arthur, and the ‘L’ stands for a secret that he’ll never tell you unless you get him drunk at an awkward party.

Anyway, you all have access to your own word processors, so you can look him up using the magic of the internet. He’s the cheeky chap who set up ‘Billington Publishing’ (in case you hadn’t made that connection based on the narcissistic naming)

Hexed in Texas: A Humorous Fantasy

A Russian witch steps through her magic mirror. The heir of a voodoo queen makes more conventional travel plans. But why are they headed for Texas?

“Lighthearted with a plot that is fun from beginning to end and characters that are charming . . . the perfect read.”–Readers’ Favorite

Once upon a time (a year ago, if you’re a stickler for details), chaotic magic leaking from Alamo excavations triggered an improbable event, drawing the attention of two unlikely rivals in search of a rare prize.

The Russian witch Baba Yaga and her two sisters have been around since–even she can’t remember when. She normally stays at home in her chicken-legged hut, grumpily aiding those who come to her for help or . . . otherwise.

M. C. Laveau, the CEO of Laveau Pharmaceuticals, merchandizes products that exploit the magic of her grandmother Marie (yes, that Marie).

Unfortunate bystander Rachel Vargas is caught between the dueling rivals as the bizarre effects of the magic become increasingly drastic: something’s gotta give.

Book 1 of the Baba Yaga Chronicles, in which she and her sisters confront the modern world, with unexpected, alarming, and comical results.

“Fun and engaging”
“A timely and delightful distraction”
“Unexpected and satisfying”
(Amazon reviews)

If you like lighthearted fantasy with offbeat humor, clever plot twists, and quirky characters, read the Baba Yaga Chronicles!


Meet Kathy Burford

Kathy Burford studied Russian and comparative literature and works as a freelance editor for university presses. She loves fairy tales and humorous fantasies, such as the works of Terry Pratchett, Diana Wynne Jones, Mark Cain, and A. Lee Martinez. She and her husband lived in Austin, Texas, for many years and now live in Iowa City.