In 1997 I killed myself.
God had another plan.
Four angels woke me from barbiturate oblivion urging me to “Wake up! Call for help!”
The angels’ voices pushed me forward as I dragged my body off the couch and crawled across the floor to my phone. The operator picked up and my mind collapsed into emptiness.
I left my body that night. My disembodied spirit floated weightlessly through hospital corridors. I watched from the ceiling as medics pounded on the chest of my body below me before my soul blasted back into it.
This began my tangled passage from brokenness, drug addiction, demonic oppression and death into healing and spiritual awakening. Today I am completely drug and depression free. In the two decades since my suicide attempt, Jesus has guided me into true healing from depression, and taught me to enjoy a deeply victorious life with Him as my companion.
In the summer of 2019, I read a book about meditation and decided to try it. I incorporated my Christian faith into the steps and used this new technique to seek the presence of God through silence. Meditative prayer has become part of my daily routine and has drawn me even more deeply into relationship with Jesus as I still my thoughts and rest in His beautiful presence.
Then I started having strange vision experiences in which my spirit was transported to a heavenly place full of God’s glory where I prayed for our world along with millions of other saints. The visions took me by surprise. I wasn’t seeking them. I had never even heard of anything similar happening to any other modern day Christian. I was disturbed and suspicious at first.
Over time, through months of testing and praying and searching, God slowly convinced me in the quiet, loving way He does, that I wasn’t going insane. The visions were really from Him. I learned that many other Biblically sound Christians also have visions today.
God loves and cares deeply about us.
The visions continued. They were varied, included multiple locations and introductions to various characters from Biblical history and loved ones from my own life. Were the visions really happening or purely spiritual, like waking dreams? I cannot answer that. They are so vivid, often involving all my senses. They seem very real to me. But whatever the answer, one defining message clearly threads throughout all of them. God loves and cares deeply about us. He wants us to know Him and delights to teach us about His character. I was being called to join with the saints in praying for our world, for a great awakening that would draw all people to God.
One of God’s charges was that I write everything down, every vision in detail. As I did this I realized that there was a connection between the visions and my own life journey, from my early experiences of demonic oppression and suicide to eventual miraculous healing through the love of Christ. I began to understand that my visions about God’s love for us were also a message to others struggling with depression. My own story of God’s healing could be used to help others learn how to seek God’s healing presence through meditative prayer.
So I told it all, from a demonically oppressed disturbed child who also fell in love with Jesus and prayed to become a Christian at six years old, to a suicidally depressed young adult who overdosed on sleeping pills and was brought back from death in the hospital, to years addicted to prescription drugs, to miraculous healing, victorious life and divine visions.~
My healing was miraculous. But it was not instantaneous. It was a process of learning how to think in a healthy way, how to shift my thoughts and spirit life from defeat to victory. My prayer is that my journey will help others climb their way out of the trap of poisonous thought patterns and prescribed drug addictions. There are so many of us out there fighting this battle…
Meet Dacia Collins
Meet Nima Fard
Meet David M Jacobson
Meet Arnur Zhumabek
Meet Douglas Kent
“Coach” Neil Geddes brings decades of personal experience as well as research to the table.
F… the Black Dog communicates hard-won insights from rock-bottom experiences in a direct, no-nonsense voice that will resonate with the reader.
Personal experiences are related vividly in a visceral manner that will help readers connect therapeutic tools to their own lives.
This is a book about adjustments to perception, philosophy, and routine that can be highly effective supplements to therapy in combatting depression. It is aimed squarely at men and women who have had enough of depression ruling their lives and are ready to take on the hard work of managing their mental health.
It will help empower readers to take the necessary steps to treat and manage their depression, especially knowing that others have been where they are, and made it through the darkness…
Living alone and forgotten by almost all those he loved, life does not seem to have much in store for a depressed writer. That until one day, when a mysterious apparition from outside the physical world decides to show him new ways of thinking through intelligent and sometimes humorous observations that challenge the status quo, which will bring change to his life forever. A change that, as he will soon learn, comes first and foremost from within himself.
A lot of people will struggle with their mental health because of recent developments around the globe. Some who profess faith in God may wonder, where is God in all of this mess? Why does God seem so distant when the storms of life rage? In this book, you will discover that no matter the challenges you face, God is mindful of you. Depression is already a major problem that many experience today. But God, who is mindful of His own, can touch the downcast in soul and restore them to wholeness. Expect the presence and truths of God to bring healing to your life as you read God is mindful of you.
Connecting with God when our connectivity seems to have gone awry can appear to be adding pressure to pressure. But here is a book that reminds us that God’s ability to connect with us never wavers.
Dr. Hugh Osgood, President, Churches in Communities
God is mindful of you gently walks readers through a practical understanding of how God holds and guides us in our deepest struggles… Thank you for the opportunity to read yet another powerful book!
Theresa Harvard Johnson, The Scribal Conservatory Arts & Worship Centre, Atlanta
Although mental illness has received diverse attention at higher institutions of learning worldwide, it is concerning that this is rarely the case amongst Christians who are ever expected to walk and live by faith and all kinds of positive confessions. With this work, our brother has proved that the Lord is mighty to save a mind that is afflicted of the devil. From sharing his own instance, as well as expounding experiences of notable 5-Star Biblical characters, Tokunbo has given us all, sufferers and their families, the opportunity to be open, sincere and believe in a God that wipes away every tears.
Dr Ola-Kris Akinola, PhD., Pretoria, South Africa
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