My mental health was threatened struggling alone in an uncertain world where love was absent 2yrs ago. I had given in and up to depression. My letters had been written and assets moved as I inched closer to the line between worlds. I told myself a story that was self-destructive with the repeat button on and prayed for the music to stop. My Anger ran it course and sadness ensued.
My victim role established my identity and so I kept feeding it. Asking for help has always been hard for me and even when I did, I didn’t feel heard. Isolation was my companion down the rabbit hole and even though it was unwelcoming, I found more truth through self; alone, realizing I was the one hearing my thoughts.
To be quite frank, I feel a little like a fraud because even though I haven’t rescinded back into my personal Hell, completely conquering depression hasn’t been achieved. But when I find myself off course I can consult the words in these pages for a guide back to purpose and mission. Because conquering depression is all about winning the thought battle that yields emotional intelligence and a strong vibration, one that lights up the room.
Four angels woke me from barbiturate oblivion urging me to “Wake up! Call for help!”
The angels’ voices pushed me forward as I dragged my body off the couch and crawled across the floor to my phone. The operator picked up and my mind collapsed into emptiness.
I left my body that night. My disembodied spirit floated weightlessly through hospital corridors. I watched from the ceiling as medics pounded on the chest of my body below me before my soul blasted back into it.
This began my tangled passage from brokenness, drug addiction, demonic oppression and death into healing and spiritual awakening. Today I am completely drug and depression free. In the two decades since my suicide attempt, Jesus has guided me into true healing from depression, and taught me to enjoy a deeply victorious life with Him as my companion.
~
In the summer of 2019, I read a book about meditation and decided to try it. I incorporated my Christian faith into the steps and used this new technique to seek the presence of God through silence. Meditative prayer has become part of my daily routine and has drawn me even more deeply into relationship with Jesus as I still my thoughts and rest in His beautiful presence.
Then I started having strange vision experiences in which my spirit was transported to a heavenly place full of God’s glory where I prayed for our world along with millions of other saints. The visions took me by surprise. I wasn’t seeking them. I had never even heard of anything similar happening to any other modern day Christian. I was disturbed and suspicious at first.
Over time, through months of testing and praying and searching, God slowly convinced me in the quiet, loving way He does, that I wasn’t going insane. The visions were really from Him. I learned that many other Biblically sound Christians also have visions today.
~ God loves and cares deeply about us. ~
The visions continued. They were varied, included multiple locations and introductions to various characters from Biblical history and loved ones from my own life. Were the visions really happening or purely spiritual, like waking dreams? I cannot answer that. They are so vivid, often involving all my senses. They seem very real to me. But whatever the answer, one defining message clearly threads throughout all of them. God loves and cares deeply about us. He wants us to know Him and delights to teach us about His character. I was being called to join with the saints in praying for our world, for a great awakening that would draw all people to God.
One of God’s charges was that I write everything down, every vision in detail. As I did this I realized that there was a connection between the visions and my own life journey, from my early experiences of demonic oppression and suicide to eventual miraculous healing through the love of Christ. I began to understand that my visions about God’s love for us were also a message to others struggling with depression. My own story of God’s healing could be used to help others learn how to seek God’s healing presence through meditative prayer.
So I told it all, from a demonically oppressed disturbed child who also fell in love with Jesus and prayed to become a Christian at six years old, to a suicidally depressed young adult who overdosed on sleeping pills and was brought back from death in the hospital, to years addicted to prescription drugs, to miraculous healing, victorious life and divine visions.~
My healing was miraculous. But it was not instantaneous. It was a process of learning how to think in a healthy way, how to shift my thoughts and spirit life from defeat to victory. My prayer is that my journey will help others climb their way out of the trap of poisonous thought patterns and prescribed drug addictions. There are so many of us out there fighting this battle…
Meet Blue Tapp
Blue Tapp is a writer, artist, photographer, musician, and gardener. She has run her own website development company, Blue’s ArtHouse Graphics & Web Design, since 1997.
Blue writes inspirational nonfiction and speaks about seeking God through meditative prayer, healing from depression, and deliverance from demonic oppression. She is available for speaking engagements and podcast interviews. Email inquiries to [email protected]
Blue and her husband, Craig Scheffer, live and homestead in Blue Eye, Missouri, where they raise chickens, ducks, rabbits, and goats and grow their own food. Follow their homesteading adventures at hermitsway.com.
This collection of poetry is a combination of the ups and downs of my anxiety and depression while battling heartache. It reflects my limited belief in myself and my codependence on another human who damaged me. My heartache was very painful and unforeseen. I fell in love hard and hurt hard. Through the pain I found life changing healing. If you have ever had your heart ripped out then this book is for you!
Meet Dacia Collins
Dacia Collins was born and raise in the enchanted state of New Mexico. Dacia considers her family and life experiences to be most important to her. Dacia loves being a lifelong learner. When she isn’t working or tending to her two beautiful children, you can almost always find her adventuring and creating new memories!
This personal and motivating guide for battling depression follows one survivor’s intimate journey through the illness while imparting the essential steps readers can take to start feeling better. As the narrative of this first person account unfolds, it compels, educates, and guides readers towards forming the necessary habits for overcoming depression. Its holistic approach uncovers many keys, practices, and secrets that can lead to a healthier and happier life. One Survivor’s Guide for Beating Depression and Thriving Thereafter is an inspirational story of struggle and perseverance that will prove that anyone can fight their way through their darkest hour, and even dare to begin to forge their way to thriving thereafter.
Meet Nima Fard
Nima Fard is a motivator, presenter, coach and corporate manager who has extensive experience researching, writing and presenting business seminars for a diverse group of private and public companies. One Survivors Guide for Beating Depression and Thriving Thereafter is based on Nima’s struggle with the disease of major depression. The author’s hope is for others to benefit from his work as well as to shed light on the disease of depression in an effort to raise the public consciousness about mental illness. Nima currently lives in Calgary, Canada.
This guide makes a serious and compelling case for exploring different ways to measure depression and how a sense of humor can and should be used to enhancement treatments of mental illness. This unique guide not only includes invaluable measurement tools for exploring new ways to measure depression, it is seriously funny.
Meet David M Jacobson
David Jacobson, LCSW, CHP is the Director of Behavioral Health Case Management at Banner University Medical Center South as well as a professional speaker. Prior to this he served as Chief of Social Work for the Veterans Administration supervising 18 programs and over 200 clinicians and other staff. Jacobson is a former board member of the Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor (AATH) and graduated in the first class of the AATH Humor Academy as a Certified Humor Professional. He is author of “The 7 1/2 Habits of Highly Humorous People” which discussed using humor to cope with chronic pain, arthritis and other conditions. A second edition to this book is in process.
Life always told me with its actions “grow up”, but I still remain as a little boy, same naive and dreamy. Although everyone says that everything is changing about me, chaos is happening inside and they also say that I am closed, trying to hide my secrets. Probably, in that case I am very similar to you. What if my story is the history of humanity? At first, I did not know my origin and how I was born just like humans. And we stuffed our heads that this is some kind of miracle. I do not know who will repeat fate after whom, but they are repeated. It seems to me that I stayed in the same train station. I seem to still sit there playing with my past, playing with life and playing with you.
Meet Arnur Zhumabek
I was born in Kazakhstan. I am 20 years old. I like to think about something big. I love looking for truths. This is my story.
High school sweethearts Mara and Douglas are young and in love, but they’re about to discover that the nightmares of the past have a way of haunting us in the present. Together they will face the demons of Mara’s childhood…but will either of them get out alive? A true and hauntingly candid look into the tragedy of sexual abuse and mental illness, and the struggle to stay afloat when everything seems hopeless.
Meet Douglas Kent
Born in Danbury, CT, Douglas Kent now makes his home in the Dallas, TX area. While he still dabbles in fiction and satire, his published works have focused on personal experiences in the form of memoirs. He is also an avid supporter of independent film and music, and a lifelong animal lover.
“Coach” Neil Geddes brings decades of personal experience as well as research to the table.
F… the Black Dog communicates hard-won insights from rock-bottom experiences in a direct, no-nonsense voice that will resonate with the reader.
Personal experiences are related vividly in a visceral manner that will help readers connect therapeutic tools to their own lives.
This is a book about adjustments to perception, philosophy, and routine that can be highly effective supplements to therapy in combatting depression. It is aimed squarely at men and women who have had enough of depression ruling their lives and are ready to take on the hard work of managing their mental health.
It will help empower readers to take the necessary steps to treat and manage their depression, especially knowing that others have been where they are, and made it through the darkness…
Living alone and forgotten by almost all those he loved, life does not seem to have much in store for a depressed writer. That until one day, when a mysterious apparition from outside the physical world decides to show him new ways of thinking through intelligent and sometimes humorous observations that challenge the status quo, which will bring change to his life forever. A change that, as he will soon learn, comes first and foremost from within himself.
Meet Vlad Tudosie
Pharmacist turned corporate slave turned editor, who also happens to have spent one of his studying years writing a book, because pharmaceutical chemistry just wasn’t that interesting.
A lot of people will struggle with their mental health because of recent developments around the globe. Some who profess faith in God may wonder, where is God in all of this mess? Why does God seem so distant when the storms of life rage? In this book, you will discover that no matter the challenges you face, God is mindful of you. Depression is already a major problem that many experience today. But God, who is mindful of His own, can touch the downcast in soul and restore them to wholeness. Expect the presence and truths of God to bring healing to your life as you read God is mindful of you. Connecting with God when our connectivity seems to have gone awry can appear to be adding pressure to pressure. But here is a book that reminds us that God’s ability to connect with us never wavers. Dr. Hugh Osgood, President, Churches in Communities
God is mindful of you gently walks readers through a practical understanding of how God holds and guides us in our deepest struggles… Thank you for the opportunity to read yet another powerful book! Theresa Harvard Johnson, The Scribal Conservatory Arts & Worship Centre, Atlanta
Although mental illness has received diverse attention at higher institutions of learning worldwide, it is concerning that this is rarely the case amongst Christians who are ever expected to walk and live by faith and all kinds of positive confessions. With this work, our brother has proved that the Lord is mighty to save a mind that is afflicted of the devil. From sharing his own instance, as well as expounding experiences of notable 5-Star Biblical characters, Tokunbo has given us all, sufferers and their families, the opportunity to be open, sincere and believe in a God that wipes away every tears. Dr Ola-Kris Akinola, PhD., Pretoria, South Africa
