The Adventures of Ominous Crane

What kid doesn’t love having a blast with their grandfather? Especially when it’s blasting heads from Hallowed Men and witches from their brooms! Orin Crane surely does, as his grandfather is the world famous child adventurer, Ominous Crane! What’s this I hear you say? You have never heard of him. Well then let me clear things up right this moment! Ominous Crane has battled not only the dark spirits that prey on humanity, but also rock trolls, centaurs, dragons and a mysterious creature that lurks in the depths of the ocean! Now, I must warn you, that what hides inside of this book may scare you. Matter of fact, put down this book and walk away while you still can!

Meet R.C.J. Dwane

Rory C.J. Dwane is an author/artist living in the midlands of Ireland. He writes fiction in the genres Children, Fantasy, Horror and Literary (for now). As a child, Rory’s favourite stories brought him many hours of joy, such as J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series, Terry Goodkind’s Sword of Truth series, Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials, the fabulous Asterix and Obelix comics, and many, many more! He is currently finishing his first Fantasy novel, Tale of a Blackbird, and also has recently finished his first children’s graphic novel, The Adventures of Ominous Crane, for ages middle grade and older, which he is self-illustrating. When he is not writing, he enjoys music, art, food, and hiking in the woods with his family and dog.

From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce

Who is Johnny Two Kebabs? There has been much speculation in recent years as to whether Johnny Two Kebabs really exists. Is it true that on 15th June 2011 after drinking 13 pints of lager he polished off two doner kebabs in 1 minute 59 seconds? Is Johnny Two Kebabs just an urban legend? Is the song that was written about him and for which the video appears on the internet just in the tradition of Irish blarney and storytelling? Is it a type of celtic mythology about larger than life figures? Were the comics which mysteriously appeared on the internet in 2020 fake news? Now, at last, in his own words, Johnny Two Kebabs comes clean and in this volume he recounts how he foiled a Russian assassination in the UK. Johnny writes candidly about his experiences in the high stakes world of international intrigue and seduction. He pulls no punches in this exposé of London’s dark underworld with its assassins, Irish pubs, kebab shops and cans of super-strength lager or as Johnny likes to call it “The golden nectar that makes life worth living”.

Meet Johnny Two Kebabs

Like top athletes and artists Johnny developed certain approaches to his chosen fields of expertise, often he has described to me the “state of flow” he experiences when he achieves a particular goal. The most famous example, of course, is when he ate two done kebabs in less than two minutes (after already having downed thirteen pints of lager) but this is not Johnny’s sole achievement. Today he is as much known for his achievements as a “conscious-vigilante” as for his record-breaking achievement in Achmed’s kebab shop. In his memoirs we learn not only how Johnny operates behind the scenes in his fight against evil but also about his ‘philosophy’ and the ‘ethical’ code by which he lives. We are reminded that Johnny is one of the great ‘thinkers’ of our times and that the philospophy which he espouses transcends the limits of time being applicable to all in all eras.

The Ghost’s Legacy

The Ghost’s Legacy ~

The old world has died.

In the frozen wastes of a new ice age, a boy must become a man. Having forgotten who he is, this youth must accept his destiny to lead, fight, and die if necessary for what he believes . . . or a magic from a lost era will destroy them all.
As a tyrannical empire rises, he and his childhood companions must band together as warriors to battle against savage creatures, an army of zealots, and an evil they are only just beginning to understand . . .

Heirs of BjornsGaard ~

A thousand years ago, on the Day of Cataclysm, the world changed. Mountains rose from plains, continents fell into oceans, colossal tempests obliterated civilizations, and jotun, creatures of legend and superstition, rose up. The New Ice Age began, blanketing the world in snow and an army of draugr, dead warriors, walked the earth destroying every remnant of the old age.

From the ashes, the Church and the Clan BjornsGaard united humanity behind their banners, rallying knights and heroes to face this new world. Under their leadership, mankind overthrew the draugr and retook control of its destiny.

In the centuries since, the Church grew into an empire, controlling most of the continent. Though its origins were noble, the Church State grew based on greed, racism, and slavery. Only two militant orders of knights, the Hospitalars and the Tau, allied with the islands of the BjornsGaard Commonwealth stood against the Church States expanding pogroms. But during the intervening years, the Kings of BjornsGaard had grown corrupt and weak. In one night, the entire family was assassinated, opening the way for the Church to expand spreading its suppression and holocaust.

But in BjornsGaard’s farthest northern island, hope is dawning. In the Hospitalar’s Northern Compound five orphans, physically and intellectually gifted and trained by the Hospitalar knights to fight, to heal, and to reason, grow up together. With a bond tighter than normal siblings and forged stronger by pain and loss, these five will grow to challenge the Church State and accept their destiny as leaders in this new age.

*Disclaimer*
Heirs of BjornsGaard is a clean fantasy adventure series, meaning that there is no sexual content, nudity, or language. However, it does contain some violence and mature subject matter that may not be suitable for younger readers. Discretion is advised.


Meet RJ Redmond

About the Author
R.J. Redmond told his third-grade teacher that when he grew up, he wanted to live in a cabin on the water and write stories. Throughout his life, this dream has remained the same. Mr. Redmond holds a Bachelor’s degree in Political Science from Washington State University and a Juris Doctorate from the Gonzaga School of Law.
A. Elaine Dunlap-Redmond is Mr. Redmond’s business manager, agent, and partner in all things. They live together on the Puget Sound in Washington State.
For more information on this book and others, visit Votes4Sasquatch.com.

Pianist in a Bordello (Bargain Book)

Pianist in a Bordello

What would happen if a politician decided to tell the truth—the whole truth? 
Richard Youngblood, aspiring Congressman, is about to find out. He’s running on a platform of honesty and transparency—and against the advice of his friends and advisers he’s decided to start with himself. His autobiography will lay his entire life bare before voters just days before the election.
And what a life he’s had. Born in a commune and named Richard Milhous Nixon Youngblood as an angry shot at his absent father, Richard grows up in the spotlight, the son of an enigmatic fugitive and the grandson of a Republican senator. He’s kidnapped and rescued, kicked out of college for a prank involving turkeys, arrested in Hawaii while trying to deliver secrets to the CIA…Dick Nixon Youngblood’s ready to tell all. 
He’ll even tell his readers about the Amandas—three women who share a name but not much else, and who each have helped shape and define the man he’s become. 
Are voters really ready for the whole truth?
Are you?
Pianist in a Bordello is a hilarious political romp through the last four decades of American history, from a narrator who is full of surprises.


Meet Mike C. Erickson

Mike C. Erickson grew up in the idyllic college town of Logan, Utah, but because of a twist of fate he graduated from high school in Honolulu. He left Hawaii brimming with aloha and enrolled at Utah State, where he was awarded two degrees and self-proclaimed minor intellectual status, which was of dubious value when the US Army invited him to vacation in South-East Asia. Ten days after leaving Vietnam, he began decades of dispensing pearls of wisdom as a high school history teacher, academic decathlon coach, and on occasion, as a community college instructor in the Sacramento area. Mike and his wife Trudy, have two grown sons and a grandson born soon after this novel is published. When not in Hawaii or another exotic locale, they live in Gold River, California. This is his first novel.

The Conjuring of Zoth-Avarex: The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Dragon in the Multiverse

Kept hidden by the United States government for decades, the Site is a place where magic is real. But that doesn’t mean that everything happening there is sparkly. Soul-sucking policies and layers of stifling bureaucracy threaten to take all the fun out of magic.

Harris, a newbie Conjurer, starts his first day of work at the Site bursting with excitement: he’s been brought on for an extremely big project happening the very next day. In a triumph over its habitual inefficiency, the Site manages to carry out its plan and conjure an actual dragon to be used by the military.

The dragon (Zoth-Avarex, the self-proclaimed greatest dragon in the multiverse) immediately eats the person next to him, snatches a “princess” from the ranks of the Conjuring Department, and flies away to the Space Needle. There he manipulates the media, outwits the Site’s bumbling management, demands sixty-three billion dollars’ worth of treasure (because Smaug was said to have had sixty-two billion in his hoard), threatens to destroy the city–and installs a couple of food trucks.

While this book skewers the same fantasy genre it gleefully inhabits, it also pokes fun at corporate culture, today’s obsession with wealth and celebrity, and our denial that life is anything more than meets the eye. Hapless Harris, believing in magic all along, learns to apply what he’s picked up between the pages of fantasy literature.


Meet K.R.R. Lockhaven

K.R.R. (Kyle Robert Redundant) Lockhaven writes humorous, fun fantasy books with a pinch of social satire.
He lives with his wife and two sons. Together they conjured a bearded dragon who rules over a hoard of sand and devours crickets by the dozens.
When not writing or raising kids, he works as a firefighter/paramedic.

Life Lessons from Grandpa and His Chicken Coop: A Playful Journey Through Some Serious Sh*t

cover

Love is superior, family is mighty, and we were put here, not for ourselves, but for each other. These are the core values that were passed down to me from my grandfather. Don’t chase the chickens because one day one might just chase you back, beer is more than just a breakfast drink, and do what you want, not what you’re told… these were also some things of value that were passed down to me from Grandpa.

Growing up just down the hill from my grandfather and his chickens taught me more about life than anything that I could’ve learned in school (had I paid attention). Learning how to stand up for myself, to lend a helping hand, to nurture, and protect the things I love, are just a few of the lessons that I learned while crossing that grassy path between his house and mine.

Life Lessons from Grandpa and His Chicken Coop is a book about love, family, youth, maturing, and all the learning that happens in between. It is a powerful, humorous, insightful, playful, and philosophical narrative about perspective and the lessons that I have learned growing up just as ornery as my ornery grandfather and his precious chickens.

Gen Z

cover

For birthday girl Chas, life just got a whole lot weirder…

Chasity is celebrating her fourteenth birthday at the local fair when zombies crash the party, stranding her and her two best friends on the Ferris wheel. With a bird’s eye view of the carnage below, they have to use their wits to survive.

Grab your cotton candy and run…

Unarmed and outnumbered, they face a perilous journey through a once idyllic community in the hopes of reaching their loved ones. With only each other to rely on, Chas and her friends are pushed to their limits as the undead hordes close in. Can they make it to safety in time to avoid becoming another human happy meal?

Refuge is just a few blocks away…

For fans of all things zombie comes a post-apocalyptic tale like no other, filled with suspense, action, and humor. Book 1 in the Series.

Scroll up and grab your copy now!

The London Hustler

cover

Do YOU want to thrive in London without breaking the bank?

In July 2015, I left Australia and moved to London based on not much more than a gut feel. But I hated it. Broke and miserable, I just couldn’t find my groove and was wondering if the “gut feel” that led me here was in fact an almighty bum steer. Sheer determination and hustle led me to discover amazing ways to save money, meet new people, enjoy what London has to offer – and life has flourished ever since.

The London Hustler is the book that I wish someone had given me when I first moved to London. It is packed full of great tips on how to settle in, specific networks to join, places to go, ways to save money, travel more, meet new people, explore new things and maximize your time in The Big Smoke. It’s a mix of personal experiences and practical insights all designed to help you get the most out of everything this amazing city has to offer from day 1 – without the struggle and overwhelm.

Join me in falling in love with this brutal and beautiful City.