The Human Bean

Hate string beans? So did this boy, until one night at dinner he ate one.

Meet Kathryn Elizabeth Jones

Kathryn is a lover of words and a bearer of mood swings. When she feels the need to inspire, she writes a Christian fiction book. If a mystery is waiting to be uncovered, she finds it. If something otherworldly is finding its way through her fingertips, she travels to it. When it comes to picture books let’s just say Kathryn loves to have a bit of fun.

MysticMagic Land

NEW RELEASE! There isn’t much to do in the small west Texas town of Goat Horn, except work in the shops, motels, and restaurants that serve the patrons of the beloved theme park known as MysticMagic Land. For five friends – Roxie, Eddie, Westie, Allie, and Stoney – the huge park is their one respite from a boring life in Goat Horn, until they discover there is more to MysticMagic Land than they ever knew. Sometimes, it seems, ghosts and creatures are not just special effects. At first, there’s nothing cooler than having real ghosts at your favorite theme park. But if those ghosts are causing enough trouble to close the place down permanently, the five decide they have to do something about it… even when they’ve never stepped up to face anything before. MysticMagic Land is a light and humorous urban fantasy novella. It is Book One in the upcoming Haunted Theme Park series and is suitable for readers of all ages. No part of this book was created using artificial intelligence (AI) software of any kind.

Meet Janeen O’Kerry

Like many who end up being writers, I’ve worked at many different jobs: riding instructor, horse trainer, computer programmer, and medical transcriptionist. I began my writing career in the early 1980s with articles for several national and regional horse magazines. My friend Hazel wanted to break into writing novels, so together we wrote three: A *Star Trek* novel; a steamy romance; and, finally a sweet romance called *April’s Christmas.* April got us started when Avalon published that book in 1994. After that I sold my own first novel, the historical romance *Lady of Fire,* to Dorchester Publishing in 1995. That was the start of the eleven-volume *Celtic Journeys* series, each of which is a romance set in ancient Ireland and tells a complete story. Today I am a full-time novelist, ghostwriter, and copy editor, and I never use artificial intelligence (AI) software of any kind when creating my books. I can often be found doing workshops and panels at writers’ events and conventions.

Twas the Night Before Christmas (and Santa Needed a Poo)

A Christmas Classic with a Cheeky Twist! Christmas Eve is upon us, and Santa’s sleigh is soaring through the sky. Presents are being delivered left and right, but suddenly… Santa’s tummy rumbles with an urgency! Amidst the jolly deliveries, will a bathroom blunder snowball into a holiday mishap? Discover the hilariously heartfelt reimagining of Clement C. Moore’s iconic poem. This festive tale, adorned with delightful illustrations, promises giggles, gasps, and a message of kindness. Highlights: A modern twist on a beloved Christmas poem. Lush illustrations to light up every child’s imagination. A timeless lesson about kindness, acceptance, and the unexpected twists of life. From the Author, Paul Wennersberg-Løvholen: Clement C. Moore’s enchanting poem was my childhood favorite. Yet, when reading to my children, I sensed it needed a sprinkle of today’s charm. Though the challenge was monumental, I’ve breathed new life into this classic, ensuring laughter, wonder, and a touch of the modern world. May this story bring a dash of festive cheer to your household. Merry Christmas!

Meet Paul Wennersberg-Løvholen

Paul Wennersberg-løvholen is the founder of Paul’s Books and author of the very well- received childrens book, Super Farty Pants, alongside several other childrens books. He is a former filmmaker, and published horror writer, turned childrens author, following the birth of his own little monsters. Originally from Wales, he now lives in Norway, where he divides his time between his family, writing, and working with teenage refugees.

Murders at the Manor (Inspector Broekstein Mysteries, Book 1)

Murders Most Foul “What would you say if I were to tell you I believed…that in the heart of every man and woman alive, there lies the potential for ultimate evil?” So begins a mystery of murder, jealousy, and revenge, as old friendships are tested and new alliances form. When a wealthy heir invites half a dozen people to his recently inherited estate, all hell breaks loose, and it will be up to the quirky, lovelorn Inspector Willem Broekstein to find out whodunnit. But of course all is not as it seems, and Broekstein will need his wits about him if he’s to keep from losing his head—or his heart—along the way.

Meet Milo James Fowler

Milo James Fowler is the cross-genre author of more than thirty books: space adventures, post-apocalyptic survival stories, mysteries, and westerns. A native San Diegan, he now makes his home in West Michigan with his wife and all four seasons. Some readers seem to enjoy the unique brand of science fiction, fantasy, horror, and humor found in his ever-growing body of work. Soli Deo gloria.

PC Dill Pickle: The Case Of The Missing Bear

Police Constable (PC) Dill Pickle cracks cases in the fridge – you read that right, he’s a pickle and a cop!In this imaginative picture book, he’s on the hunt for Sherry Cherry Tomato’s missing teddy bear, and he needs your help.

Join PC Dill Pickle, Greg Egg, Sonia Soda, Sherry and Terry Cherry Tomato as they piece together the clues and find their furry little friend.

_


If you know a 3-5-year-old who likes:

  • Funny kid’s books
  • Nursery rhymes books
  • Picture books
  • The stories of legendary authors, Julia Donaldson and Nick Bland


Then they’ll LOVE PC Dill Pickle! This book is fun to read and interactive too.


‘Young children will find PC Dill Pickle and The Case of The Missing Bear by Hani Bruce entertaining. They’ll laugh and probably call out the character names. They’ll absolutely have fun spotting the clues!’
Reedsy Discovery (Editorial Review)
_

The Case Of The Missing Bear invites its reader (and little listener) to help find a lost toy – a common problem for 3-5 year-olds! Children use critical thinking and problem-solving skills as they follow a string of clues. They’ll also learn about teamwork and communication.

Children are mesmerised by the colourful illustrations, entertained by the funny characters, and swept up in the rhythmic storytelling style.

Ready to read?

Hit Buy Now, and PC Dill Pickle will see you in the fridge!
*BOOK 2, ‘THE CASE OF THE STRANGE SOUND’ COMING FEB 2023*


Meet Hani Bruce

Debut children’s book author and indie publisher Hani Bruce released her first book, PC Dill Pickle – The Case Of The Missing Bear in 2022, with two more books in production.

The PC Dill Pickle series is about a Police Constable (PC) pickle who lives in a fridge. He cracks cases alongside colourful characters like Sonia Soda, Greg Egg, Tony Pepperoni and Rocky Broccolini while prompting the reader to piece together the clues.

While working as a brand builder and copywriter helping others find their ‘voice’, Hani found her own in writing the PC Dill Pickle series.

‘Tapping into a completely different form of creative writing and letting loose with my imagination has been a thrilling adventure. Nothing is too weird. The ideas don’t need to be logical. It has been a fun and freeing experience.’

Hani’s husband, Adam, illustrates her books and is instrumental in exploring the story and character ideas. Together, they agree on an everyday situation or problem (like losing a toy) and plot out how characters can solve it through critical thinking and teamwork.

These rhyming books are fun to read and show children that many problems are solvable when they ask for help and work together.

L.I.F.E. in the 23rd Century

“A laudable sci-fi yarn that’s both irreverent and relevant.”Kirkus Reviews
Meet Pat McGewan-X04. Pat is a Patriot who spends his days watching robots build cubicles for corporations that keep getting blown up by those pesky terrorists in the soon to be won, we’ve got them on the ropes, 232nd year of the War on Terror. He’s content in his world of mediocre corporate coffee, vid-link chats with his wife who the government discourages him from ever meeting in person, and an endless barrage of travel bans, terrorist attacks, and never-ending nightly news emergency broadcasts.
But everything changes when a freak car accident puts Pat in the national spotlight. One minute he’s a hero for being the sole survivor of this week’s most recent terrorist attack, (but not long enough to get a commemorative coffee cup with his face on it before the next attack happens). In the next minute, the nation’s most vitriolic talking head has branded Pat the greatest threat to truth, justice, and stockholder profits — and the manhunt begins!
Pat has to decide between fighting the corporate-controlled media and possibly losing his life or giving in to his Academy training and lose his soul and possibly any hope of ever getting a decent cup of coffee. Welcome to LIFE in the 23rd Century: an absurd, light-hearted dystopian future to distract you from your horrific dystopian present. Brought to you by the makers of prescription Chillaxafed.
Jason R. Richter writes humorous dystopian adventures with a touch of real-world cynicism.


Meet Jason R. Richter

Jason R. Richter is a perennial runner-up in Jason R. Richter look-alike contests. The orphaned love child of Kilgore Trout and Margaret Dumont, he was raised by marauding gypsy accountants. When the bottom fell out of the interplanetary death ray market at the dawn of the new millennium, he turned his hobby (a game he calls “Lies to Strangers”) into a career. He currently lives. His novella “I am Leonard and other stories” is free to download at his website: diskordianpress.com/newsletter/

Shadow Vanguard Boxed Set (Books 1-4)

Now’s your chance to grab the entire completed series in one boxed set of almost 1000 pages of action packed space opera excitement!

Don’t dump the cargo – I paid for it fair and square with money I stole!

And so begins the saga of Jack Marber, former Special Assault Marine and his alien band of traders as they cross the galaxy doing the only job that doesn’t leave them homeless.

Gravity Storm:

“I need eyes and ears in every system that would benefit the Federation. One way to do that is for the Free Traders of this universe to work for me…”Nathan Lowell

Nathan has a mission and is willing to pay handsomely for Jack’s time. If only Jack will represent the Federation that kicked him out of the service for what was Jack’s fault.

He’s not sure they should trust him, although he likes it.

His two-legged Yollin partner is trying to learn the English side of the Galactic Common language, but that doesn’t always work out so well.

Adina is a member who Nathan wants on the team. No one is sure of her, not even Adina.

A storm is rising and the misfits of the Fortitude have no choice but to fight it.

Lunar Crisis:

The Shadows have been blooded and survived. There was no time for celebration as their next mission came upon them like a gangster in the night.

Or missiles out of the blue.

Captain Jack Marber, the Yollin Tc’aarlat, and Adina Choudhury take the ICS Fortitude to the moons of Taglen. They have to figure out what’s going on before they can fix it, all the while they are the target of an unknown entity who wants them dead.

No matter the cost. As Tc’aarlat might say, “Don’t put all your eggs in one bastard.”

Slave traders, murderers, thieves, and con men find themselves in the crosshairs of the Shadows. Join the misfits as their intelligent ship rockets them into the middle of it all.

Immortality Curse:

Following a slew of dangerous missions, the Shadows are looking forward to an easier assignment – conveying official condolences to the mourning monarch of an allied planet.

They should be so lucky.

How far would you go to mourn a lost love?

Twisted by grief, the queen has tasked her top scientists with finding a cure for death itself, so that no one else must suffer like she has. But, when the cure is accidentally unleashed upon the world, her subjects discover there are some fates worse than death.

Add to the mix a trio of unruly hawk chicks, a movie-mad android, and a stonemason with an unhealthy obsession with sledgehammers – and you’ve got a mission the team would gladly exchange for a return to the front line.

Ultimate Payback:

The Shadows are back and on a personal mission to clear Tc’aarlat’s name.

A two-legged Yollin, a pariah to his parents. The Gan’barlo crime family has been a thorn in his side since he came of age and tried to make his own way. When he was forced to choose one family over the other, he found that he didn’t like either and left the planet Yoll.

But you can’t ghost your family. It’s time to go home and deal with both. Captain Jack Marber is behind Tc’aarlat all the way as they return to their crewmember’s home to set things right.

On a sad note, Tom Dublin passed away before he finished book 4, but he was able to produce the outline for Book 4 which we wrote for him. We (LMBPN Publishing) are donating one hundred percent of the profit from these books to Tommy’s family.

Scroll up and click Buy Now or Read for Free!

— PLEASE NOTE —

*NOTE: If cursing is a problem, even humorous cursing, then this might not be for you.