Meet Sirius Pen
Meet Alex Coverdale
Meet Layton Bushel
Meet David Finley
What’s it like to live and work deep in forested isolation at a fire tower for six months of the year? While battling mental instability. And the medication prescribed for it. And your Mother. And your Maker. And your Maker’s assassins who see you as nothing more than an easy piece of meat supported by two edible stilts. And inappropriate behaviour around your female supervisor’s posterioso perfectus. And a tendency to enter your wiener boat in too many spankathons. And a multitude of other questionable habits. And, and, and, ad infinitum.
Oh, Tony. Tch, tch, tch.
Meet Tony Butterworth (and his unfortunate sidekick, “Gorby”), a fifteen-year veteran of forestry’s seasonal Game of Towers. A secret worshipper at the altar of that delectable skankstress, Muffy—sixty kilometers to his southeast. Co-conspirator and trusty lookout for Dingleberries’ infamous “Turd Burglar,” Boogie Bowshaw. Sufficiently obsessed with the legendary tower duo, D*ck n B*lls. Novice Cornholer. Whisper Gardell’s new reluctant boyfriend.
Oh, Tony. It’s Uncle Bonzo, mate. Can you smell the shrimp on the barbie? Why don’t you drop in and join us for a round. Where for art thou? Tony. We miss you.
“Hysterical and inventive … an ingenious and brilliant work of art … I won’t be forgetting it any time soon.” – Foluso Falaye (5-Stars: Readers’ Favorite).
“If I had to summarize this cocktail of insanity, I’d say get a tall glass, add one shot of Terry Pratchett, a healthy measure of Hunter S. Thompson, top up with some Jim Jefferies and garnish with one of those special mushrooms people aren’t supposed to eat….” – Michael Gardner (5-Stars: Readers’ Favorite).
“The plot is quirky and completely unique … the narrative throughout is wonderfully vivid and descriptive … this novel will make you laugh but also shed a tear….” – Lesley Jones (5-Stars: Readers’ Favorite).
Milgorry turned cold eyes upon Tiernan. ‘Say it,’ he demanded. ‘If you do this, I’ll hunt you down and return your dead body to the Creator. That is the law, and I’m bound by the law. I am a Guardian. I’ll have no choice,’ his voice dropped to a whisper. ‘There’s always a choice,’ said Milgorry. ‘If this is such a problem why don’t you return me right here and right now? You know you can!’‘ Because you’ve not done anything wrong yet,’ said Tiernan, sounding insecure.‘ But you can see into my mind! You know I’m going to do this!’ Tiernan’s shoulders sagged. ‘Please don’t do this. There must be another way.’‘ I don’t see any other way,’ Milgorry said bleakly. ‘Then go. But think hard on this before you act. You say there’s always a choice, but I’m not Free. For me there’s no choice. So be assured, if you do this, I will come after you. And I will find you. And I will return you.’ Milgorry was startled to feel the depth of pain emanating from the Guardian. ‘I’ll think on it, but if I find no other way to save my people, I’ll do what I have to do, and you can hunt me down and return me if you must.’ He ran down the stone steps, dodging Borgulnay, Timbul and Araas as they passed by. ‘Mil!’ Timbul called after him. ‘Where are you going? ‘Home,’ said Milgorry, not looking back. Disease ravages the land of Nyinaku, bringing the physically superior race known as the Fallen to their knees. Unable to watch his people die, Milgorry of Tarl, the land’s foremost cunning and deadly warrior, defies Tiernan, Lord of the Guardians, and returns to Nyinaku, intent on sharing the forbidden gift of healing with the Fallen race. Constrained by the laws of the Guardians, Tiernan struggles with the fact that he is required to disregard their friendship and hunt down the most dangerous Fallen warrior he has ever known. Meanwhile, knowing the illness will spread like wildfire and cripple neighbouring countries, an army of Fallen warriors prepares to use the opportunity to their advantage, and defying the orders of Prince Garran, they gather for war against the humans in the land of Alkira and their Guardian allies. In the Kingdom of Alkira, young King Kelian races against time to find a cure for the disease as it decimates his people, whilst preparing his nation for a war he knows he will not win.
“Excuse me. Do you mind if I squeeze past?”
And so it begins.
Two strangers meet on a plane.
One has a terrible confession to make. But is it safe to tell a stranger?
The other is haunted by past mistakes and looking for a fresh start.
Over the course of their ten-hour flight they come to know each other’s deepest, darkest secrets.
Is confession good for the soul or is it better to keep your crimes bottled up inside?
Discover what becomes of Lee, Tamsin and Jake.
Rated FIVE STARS by real readers:
Praise for The Adulterer’s Handbook: A Novel
“Wow. This book is fantastic! I had absolutely no idea when I started reading that I’d be taken on this journey. The writing is great.”
“I really enjoyed this book. I’m not sure how to categorize it — a thriller or just good fiction?Regardless, I highly recommend it! I didn’t want to put it down!”
“The tale weaves its way down a winding path so beautifully that, before you know it, you’re at this bizarre place in the story where every character is not who you thought they were!”
“I was drawn to this novel because I was interested to see how the author handled the subject of infidelity, purely from a male perspective. He’s done an excellent job.”
“The humour and author’s style are reminiscent of David Nicholls.”
“There is much to admire in this entertaining read. The dialogue is natural, the editing is well done and the narrative flows. All in all, a good debut novel and I feel sure we’ll see more from this promising new writer. I recommend you give it a try.”
“The book just becomes fun. It’s like a puzzle that you’re trying to figure out.”
“The internal dialogue is so hilarious that I literally LOL’d a few times.”
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What the heck was she doing on this island?
Samantha Jameson finds herself washed up on Siren Island – well, if she was to be honest with herself, more like worn-out, defeated, and dead tired. Her whole life has been spent playing by the rules, and for what? An empty apartment, a career with no upward movement, and one failed relationship after another. When it all blows up in her face, what’s a girl to do but book a last-minute trip to the ridiculously named Laughing Mermaid Bed & Breakfast on an unknown speck of an island in the Caribbean?
Lucas Mosteron knows all about burning out from first-hand experience. Over the years, he’s discovered that he isn’t the only one, as everyone has their own unique story for landing on Siren Island – including his lovely and mysterious neighbors at The Laughing Mermaid Bed & Breakfast. Little does he know that there is more to their story than he could ever have imagined possible. When Samantha Jameson arrives as their guest – depleted and needing respite, Lucas can’t help but feel like he could be the man she needs. Irresistibly drawn to her uptight demeanor, Lucas is determined to unwind Samantha and show her that life on Siren Island could be the answer to all her problems.
The Siren Island Series
Book 1: Good Girl
Book 2: Up to No Good
Book 3: A Good Chance (Expected early 2020)