jokes
As usual, you won’t find those cliched materials—that’s what the internet’s for. Materials in this second installment are even fresher, funnier and, as usual, short and straight to the punchline.
Tom Willis, the fellow who is capable of the sublime in one minute and pure foolery in that very same minute, is back.
You also get to meet our new doctor, the one who took the hypocritical oat and likes to make a meal of everything.
There are great quotes to motivate and inspire you.
Although this is not the go-to book for aspiring clowns, you can rest assured that the contents of this book will breathe new life into your speeches, tweets, writings, etc.
This book is ideal for young adults, proper adults, and the age-is-just-a-number crew.
SNIPPETS FROM THIS BOOK
- Love all, but trust only dogs.
- Better to remain silent and be thought a fool only than to speak and reveal the mouth odor as well.
- PATIENT: I am tired of living with this bad breath. DOCTOR: In that case, hold your breath.
- My psychologist says I’m not of a sound mind, but the problem is…I can’t remember muffling it.
- Although mummies are from Egypt, dummies are from everywhere.
- Don’t show bias: treat fools, idiots, and nincompoops equally. After all, they are all equally useless.
- Once, a computer beat me at chess. Next time, I came fully prepared—with the right screwdrivers.
- TOM’s FRIEND: (whining) Shipping cost has almost doubled within the last 5 years. Why? TOM: Yes, that because the universe is expanding.
- Wisdom: knowing when you are right, and when others are.
- Taxation: the system of keeping citizens alive and healthy enough to work and pay taxes.
- What money can’t buy; enough money hasn’t been offered yet.
- My family was so poor…we rarely had enough to eat, never mind renting an apartment in the slums.
- TOM’S FRIEND: There’s this designer shirt that costs 1,500 dollars; it requires no washing, pressing, doesn’t get wet, and has a fantastic fragrance. TOM: And it has the money-back option in case of theft?
- While some jokes get selected into halls of fame, others get elected into public offices.
- When a man kisses and tells, you can be sure of one thing: he isn’t a one-minute man.
- What a man can do, a woman can make him do it better.
- All women are beautiful; however, many appear less beautiful with makeup.
- While some are plain useless, others you should use less.
- A study has revealed that only 20 percent of married men cheat—the rest just won’t admit it.
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1001 One-Liners and Short Jokes
They’re all here in this classic collection of the most hilarious one-liners on planet Earth! This eye-watering compilation has been carefully selected to get your giggle glands going and is guaranteed to give you hours of laughter and enjoyment. Each of the 1001 gags has been placed into its own category such as Addictions, Religion, Women so you can find a joke easily on any number of topics. A wise sage once said, “Laughter is, and will always be, the best form of therapy” so go on, cheer yourself up with this fabulous collection of mirth and merriment.
Press the BUY NOW button!
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Cartoon Headcase: Cartoons to Make you Happy
Buy this book! Laughter, jokes, puns, memes, cartoons, stick figures, dad jokes, funny pictures, clean humor and family fun- it’s all here! See the funny side of everything from adverts to age, animals, art, babies, birds, birthdays, books, cars, children, Christmas, clothes, communication, conferences, counselling, dating, films, food, geography, history, holidays, homes, interviews, languages, lectures, marriage, maths, medical, money, music, nature, parenting, people, philosophy, politics, psychology, relationships, religion, restaurants, school, science, shopping, sports, television, travel, weather and work! Welcome to the crazy world of Cartoon Headcase – and a book literally bursting with over 300 cartoons! This is the first in a series from comedy genius, John King.
John has an ever-increasing following on Instagram and Facebook, which has led to the publication of these books. He loves cartoons like The Far Side, Dilbert, Peanuts and Garfield. He also enjoys the great British comedians like Monty Python, Morecambe and Wise, The Two Ronnies, Tommy Cooper, Milton Jones, Harry Hill, Tim Vine and Michael McIntyre.
John sees life through the lens of humour in the same way a photographer sees everything as a potential photo. His unique slant ranges from real life observations to the surreal. These cartoons cover a mass of subjects spanning from music to medical, school to science and family to food.
This book will have you chuckling in seconds, and buying the sequels. It’s great family fun- keep it by your toilet or give it to your friends! It makes a perfect gift that is suitable for all ages. Once you enter the world of Cartoon Headcase, you won’t want to leave!
REVIEWS
”It’s just funny! This book is FULL of cartoons, based on ordinary life, but able to show the ridiculous in the ordinary. It’s easy to read, but hard to put down! It’s fun and I love it”. Crafter
”Really really worth it, so funny. Really funny and loads and loads of little jokes and is very easy to read”. Nathan Gilpin
”Does what it says on the cover. This is a big book, full of great jokes. When it arrived it had us guffawing at the drawings, the punchlines, the unexpected twists and the hilarious expressions John manages to depict on his stick characters. Cartoons to make you happy does what it says on the cover. Highly recommend”. Hills93.
”Pride of place on my ”bathroom library” shelf. Great book – read it cover to cover and now keep it ‘on hand’ to dip into. John has a great ability to observe everyday life and see the humour….. before adding the Cartoon Headcase twist. Can’t wait to get the next one!” Malkido.
”Plenty of giggles. Witticisms, chuckles and the occasional guffaw, with the occasional head-scratching moment.
Nice work John, a true headcase! Oh, and you can draw larf too! :D” Paul.
Seriously Silly Animal Jokes for Kids
SERIOUSLY SILLY ANIMAL JOKES FOR KIDS is the second book in the Seriously Silly Jokes for Kids series. It contains over 200 hilarious jokes with equally silly cartoons. A great way to introduce fun jokes to kids that is engaging and will keep them occupied for hours at a time.
- This kids joke book is wonderfully illustrated with hilarious animal cartoons that provide a visual aid to children who may get bored with simply reading line after line of kids jokes.
- Inside is a clear uncluttered design that’s easy for kids to read and understand.
WARNING: Belly aches and painful sides have been reported by parents and kids alike from this rib tickling and eye wateringly funny kids animal joke book.
Suitable as a joke book for boys and girls (and quite possibly adults)
A premium collection of clean jokes for kids.
Contains brand new cartoons and jokes not available in the First Seriously Silly Jokes for Kids book.
Hilarious Chuck Norris Jokes!: 555 Hilarious Jokes About Chuck Norris
If you want some awesome Chuck Norris jokes you can tell your friends and family to make them laugh really hard, this is the book for you! The book consists of long, short, corny and clever jokes and you will certainly find your own personal favourites! Here are a few examples from the book:
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand… While he’s sitting on it…