The Teleporter

What if there was a power like no other? What if one drunken slouch happened to stumble where nobody has stumbled before and discovered the ability to teleport! Just when you thought there were enough super hero stories in this world, we made another one… Kurt Wiseman is your average mid-twenties slouch with a serial thirst for alcohol, that is until destiny calls upon him to stumble where no man has clumsily stumbled before. By day he works for a familiar sounding, power hungry, media controlling, mega rich American businessman who represents everything wrong with society today. Whilst investigating this politically loaded story arc Kurt accidentally acquires a super power like no other. The ability to teleport! Before he can think about saving the day, Wiseman must endure a journey of self-reflection by earning the trust of his friends and overcoming his greatest weakness, booze. Even if the path is filled with comic book cliché, inappropriate one liners and genre busting fourth wall action. Not all heroes in this world are the same and with great power comes the possibility to go viral! This is a story that will unite humanity… Kurt Wiseman is the Teleporter!


Meet Lee Hall

Lee Hall is a Best Selling Indie Author from the UK. He has spent many years reading, writing, blogging and performing. The fruits of such are multiple indie published books crossing several genres and of course a loyal following. From occult thrillers with monsters, witches and vampires that eventually became known as the ‘Order of the Following Series’ to paranormal romance and even the tale of a drunken superhero looking for justice. All of his works carry a deeper meaning that tribute the events from real life, because all good fiction is rooted in some level of truth. Most days you can find Lee on Twitter trying to be witty and supporting fellow creatives.

Conversations With the Golf God

Every day around the world golfers wonder if the Golf God is real and how much he impacts the game. This book answers many age old questions. Yes, the Golf God is real! He appeared to local golfer Shanks one day, dancing on a bar at The Fleece Muni Golf Course and told Shanks he had been chosen to be his disciple. “Why have I been chosen?” Shanks asked, bewildered. “Because you are the worst putter I have ever seen and to continue to play the game you have to be filled with devotion,” answered the Golf God righteously. 
The Golf God also informed Shanks he had been assigned the task to write the Golf Gods’ legacy. In between beer, cigarettes, and pizza the Golf God told Shanks the real history of golf, explained the fine points of throwing a club, what golf terms really mean, why we play the game, and a few tips about putting, while Shanks shared several stories about real life golfers at the Golf God’s request – the kind who take your hard earned cash and lie about their handicaps. Grab a slice of pizza, have a beer, maybe a smoke, then sit back and feel like you are in the room enjoying the conversations between Shanks and the Golf God!


Meet Robert K. Swisher Jr.

Robert K. Swisher, Jr. has been writing contemporary fiction since 1967. During this time seven of his novels were published by SUNSTONE PRESS ranging from young adult, contemporary, to historical fiction. Seven of these books are still in print of which three have been converted to e-books. He has received raving reviews from Publishers Weekly, Library Journal, Best Sellers, Midwest Book Review, and numerous others. Over the past several years OPEN TALON PRESS has released a highly acclaimed four book comedy mystery series about a Vietnam vet and his not so nice Guardian Angel, a hilarious golf book, an off center love story, two literary novels, a highly acclaimed reader participation novel and its sequel, and a tongue in cheek writing instructional book based on a course he taught that goes against the grain of what most creative writing instructors hold as dear. Swisher’s novels can be found on Amazon, your local bookstore, Author Central, Facebook, and Goodreads. He can be reached via his Facebook page. At the moment two fiction novels are being edited, he is working on a third, and a contemporary fiction novel,

My Christmas Fake Fiance

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“I LOVED this fun romance! From the first page, I was swept up in Allie Archer’s riotous world of helping family, saving the planet and slamming the door in romantic love’s face. Deliciously arrogant Devlin Somerset is a perfect Prince Charming in the making. The story made me laugh; but also had me gasping more than once at some wonderfully executed twists.” Wanda ????? – GoodReads –
Holiday Inspirational Romance

Snowflakes are falling on Kissing Bridge Mountain, and wealthy businessman, Devlin Somerset is coming home at last. But he can’t see his ailing father without bringing a fiance, even if it has to be a fake one! When he meets a smalltown girl, Allie Archer, who’s fighting to stop her family home from being sold -they strike up an unlikely arrangement to help each other. Soon, the fickle snow flurries of fate send them down a destined road they never expected…because falling in love was not part of the deal.

????? – Amazon – Couldn’t Put it Down!

“My Christmas Fake Fiance by Linda West, was a heartwarming, friends to lovers read I couldn’t put down! I read it in two nights AND the only reason I didn’t finish night one was because of a family gathering!” Deanna Jackson

????? – Amazon – Such an Amazing Story!

“Absolutely one of the best books I have ever read. It was exciting, funny, a little sad in parts but the love in this book was amazing. I loved the storyline. I don’t want to say to much because I don’t want to give anything away. The ending was awesome and so darned funny. Linda outdid herself with this book. I will be reading this book again.” Terry Silva

????? – Amazing!

“This is the best one yet! I love the sincerity and the friendships of the people of Kissing Bridge. I don’t want to give anything away, but I laughed, cried, felt compassion, got mad and happy. This was one that I read in one day— I just couldn’t put the book down!”dixiemarlene – Amazon

????? – Magic!

Magic happens in Kissing Bridge! I love all of the Kissing Bridge Stories from this author. This was a great read that I couldn’t wait to finish. I felt everything that was happening along with the characters. Can’t wait for the next book from this author!!”Susan Bichell – Amazon

????? – Love Kissing Bridge

I look forward to any Christmas Kisses books. So far, none have disappointed. I enjoyed this book very much. Keep writing more.”Thanks Pat Hawk – Amazon

?????- Hilarious with a sweet ending!

Personally, I loved it. It was a laugh out loud funny. It was sweet and loving. I could relate to the loss of my mother. And most importantly, it was dead on the spot on how brothers and sisters can be your worst enemies. OMG!!! I laughed and kept saying….Yes, Yes!” Amazon

????? – So funny!

“A truly laugh out loud comedy romance that will leave you crying and smiling at the end.” C.Patchett

“This was an awesome Christmas read. I absolutely loved it. I read this in one setting I just didn’t want to put this down so I lost some sleep but that was okay!”

“This was a good clean and fun romance. It has practically everything…humor, drama, and great variety of characters. I loved that it was set around the holidays with all the snow. Just the type of story I love reading as our own holidays are approaching.

Trump Cop

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Trump – Love Him or Hate Him? Fact or Pulp Fiction?

In an alternate universe, Donald Trump travels through time righting wrongs and displaying acts of heroism, while wooing the ladies.

In this lurid tale, Trump is a feared Dirty Harry-style Police Inspector and one of NYPD’s finest, who has a serial killer and kidnapper to track down amidst a grisly set of murders, in a steaming hot New York City, 1981.

This fast-paced story places our hero in a series of predicaments that only Inspector Trump can overcome in his own inimitable style.

Whether you are a lover or a hater of Donald J. Trump, you’ll be entertained by this adults-only fantasy!

Made in America: A Memoir of Complete and Utter Stupidity

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Made in America is the vivid, heartbreaking, and harrowing true story that explores the depths of what life is like when you are a stupid asshole. Buck Brennan always knew he was different. He spent his whole life living a lie, the same way gay kids do before they tell everyone that they are gay. He spent his whole childhood trying to fit in and do things other normal kids would do like have manners, chew with their mouth closed, and not pee all over the toilet seat, but it never felt natural to Buck. Deep down inside he had this burning desire to talk during movies, wipe boogies on the couch, put empty milk cartons back in the fridge, and squeeze the toothpaste from the top. Often times he would find himself just staring off into the distance of a Wal-Mart parking lot, longing for the day when he would be old enough to drive so that he could take up two spaces.
By the time Buck was 11 years old he had a paper route, and every day on that paper route he would forget to give papers to some houses, then give other houses two papers by mistake. Other times he would just say, “fuck it” altogether and throw all the papers off the side of a bank so he could go home and play Nintendo. A week before his 12th birthday Buck was fired and replaced by Phil Buckley, a more competent and reliable 11-year-old who lived down the street. That was 30 years ago.

My Uncle Jack’s Off

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Hot dogs, pimps, elephants and crime. These things have absolutely nothing to do with this epic twisted tale, but you have to admit they’re pretty attention grabbing, right?!?

Bored of reading the same old hum-drum books about superheroes, lawn furniture and how to grow the best cheese log? My Uncle Jack’s Off is a one-of-a-kind tale with a ham-fisted, adult-focused tone that will have you laughing out loud with every turn of the page until your belly aches. The best part? You’ll know your stomach hurts from laughter and not tapeworms!

Here are just a few of the thought-provoking things world-renown book critics have had to say about My Uncle Jack’s Off

    • “I used my left hand to turn the pages instead of my right and it was like sharing an unforgettable experience with a stranger.” – Rosie Palmer

 

    • “I’ve heard some tall tales, but Uncle Jack has a story so big you may not be able to take it all at once.” – D.T. Sanchez

 

    • “My favorite part was the check I received for this endorsement” – Handsomely compensated reader who wishes to remain anonymous

 

    • “Finally, a story that the common unicyclist can relate to” – Gary the Unicyclist

 

    • “[Shakes book…] How do I get the sound out?” – Reginald, the guy down the block who confuses audio with print

 

    • “I find this book VERY hard to put down!” – Prank victim who got his hand superglued to the book

 

    • “It’s the perfect length. What they say is true… size matters.“ – A guy obsessed with tape measurers. Why, what’d you think?

 

This book gives you all the raucous fun you can handle without being committed for excessive laughter. Perfect for late-night bedtime stories, bar mitzvahs, propping up a coffee table leg, surprise parties for the elderly, as a replacement for a toaster manual, or even light bathroom reading, it’s time you saw Uncle Jack’s Off for yourself.

Pick up a copy of My Uncle Jack’s Off by clicking “Add to Cart” above. You’ll love the side-splitting story, hidden pictures, and one man’s epic climax to fun.