When rising film star Jake Neumann dies, he finds himself in an afterlife earned not by faith or good works, but by fame. While the fame of an actor is intense, it is also fleeting; when film stars are forgotten on earth, they fall from this heaven. As Jake comes to grips with his new reality, he witnesses a tragedy that shakes his new community. He and his friends are caught up in a mystery, leading down a tangled path of magic, mobsters and mayhem. No one is safe in a world where even death may die, and Jake must race to find the key to saving his new home from the threat approaching VALHOLLYWOOD.
Meet Christopher E. Appel
Christopher E. Appel has worked in the Atlanta area for many years as a game developer, illustrator, 3D artist and animator. Sometimes billed as Chris Appel (https://www.imdb.com/name/nm5759147/) he has contributed to a wide range of award-winning projects, including the computer game series Wizardry and Unreal, television programs such as Archer and Marvel’s Hit-Monkey, the children’s books Le grand livre des Guerriers and Le grand livre des Cow-Boys et des Indiens, and table top game projects like Weird Wars, Deadlands, Legends of the Five Rings, and many, many more. Christopher currently works at Hi-Rez Studios as Senior Producer on Paladins. Valhollywood is his first novel. When he isn’t working or writing, he enjoys watching classic films, traveling with his wife, MarKay, spending time with his sons, or introducing his grandsons to Godzilla movies.
A killer collection of ballsy women and their stories, DEAD FUNNY confirms the world is as crazy and off-kilter as you always suspected it was.
It’s an outrageous quartet of Noir-Ha-Ha short stories throbbing with dark humour and suspense. Four very different, but equally ballsy women cross moral lines to get what they want, and the bodies soon mount up in this comedy crime fest.
Annabel is a fast-fading celebrity who’ll do more or less any anything to remain popular… yep, ANYTHING! Best read with a cool drink. That’s CELEBRITY ROAST.
Tayla, a famously beautiful Aussie Supermodel from hell finds herself in a jam at the swish end of London. The King Rat of the paparazzi has a score to settle with her. What’s even tastier for him is the deal they strike is over a dead body. But Tayla is one tough cookie, as he soon finds out in PAPARATZ, a real Noir-Ha-Ha scum-fest.
Anita had a cool game plan all mapped out until the day she became TRAPPED IN CLOUD-CUCKOO-LAND. It’s the sleazier side of Switzerland. Forget cuckoo clocks, dirndls and yodelling. Just watch Anita’s initial fascination, her growing fantasy and then horror as her life melts down into a vintage, non-PC train wreck of a crime thriller.
Robyn is the obsessed fan from FAN FATALE who’s chasing her impossible dream, to befriend and be with the TV soap star she idolizes. But hold your breath. Think Psycho meets Fatal Attraction.
DEAD FUNNY is Noir-Ha-Ha at its feistiest.
Meet Jinx James
I’ve worked in music, advertising and TV comedy. At one time I had a job where I’d spend weeks away from home with spare time on my hands – so I started to write for my own amusement. I’ve always had a wicked sense of humour, and anything oddball, quirky or absurd really appeals to me, especially comedy and crime wrapped up with Classic Rock and Soul, and even the odd murder. I call it Noir Ha-Ha – my idea of Comedy Crime. I hope we’re on the same wavelength. I’d love to hear from you. You can catch me at [email protected]
He stirs up trouble just by rolling into town. Can this human wrecking ball on the run dodge the Federal police and a Russian crime syndicate bent on revenge?
Gary Braswell is a walking disaster. Dodging his violent enemies with new papers and the help of a surgeon’s knife, Gary attempts to lie low with a stint in freezing Tasmania. But he’s barely settled in with his stolen $150,000 stash when a body-building thief snatches the cash… and then turns up bloodily dismembered.
When Gary is fingered for the killing, he’s terrified he’ll blow his highly illegal history wide open. And since Australia’s most-wanted man is desperate to avoid a stretch in the slammer, this true-blue criminal better knuckle down quickly before he gets nailed.
Will the knockabout party animal escape the cuffs and dodge a snowstorm of strife?
Sold to the Devil is the gritty second book in a fast-paced comic noir thriller series. If you like hilarious page-turners, screwball characters, and crazy twists and turns, then you’ll love Blair Denholm’s high-powered sucker punch.
Buy Sold to the Devil to join Trouble Down Under today!
Used-car salesman Gary Braswell owes thousands to a violent loan shark. Desperate to save his skin, he joins forces with a ruthless Russian crime syndicate that doesn’t take too kindly to being double-crossed. As his life spirals further out of control, Gary’s inflated ego can only land him in more trouble.
A whirlpool of murder, sex, drugs and real estate, SOLD is hilarious and dark
Dodgy real estate agents, nouveau riche Russian émigrés, corrupt federal cops and femme fatales, SOLD’s characters jump off the page.
Praise for SOLD
A neatly executed work of comic grunge
Action packed and fast paced.
Numerous storylines converge in a brilliantly constructed ending and I dearly wish a sequel is on the cards.
The Gold Coast swelters in record temperatures, and car salesman Gary Braswell’s hot under the collar. With sales at rock-bottom, he’s up to his neck in debt to loan shark Jocko Mackenzie. If the loan’s not repaid, there’s more than Gary’s kneecaps at stake – his long-suffering wife is also in peril.
Gary turns his skills to real estate and is soon embroiled in the murky world of money laundering. With the federal police sniffing around and Jocko on his tail, Gary concocts an audacious scam.
Success means money – lots of it. Failure means death. Can hard-drinking, cocaine-snorting Gary pull it off?
Perfect for fans of gritty, fast-paced noir thrillers and vigilante justice novels
If you enjoy noir novels by Irvine Welsh and James Ellroy, the absurd humor of Tom Sharpe and Joseph Heller, and the story-telling of Elmore Leonard and Janet Evanovich, you’re going to get a huge kick out of SOLD
There’s a war in the streets. The vicious Ghost Knights biker gang, suddenly flush with cash and guns, is challenging the Mob for control of the city. No one is safe as bodies fall and houses go up in flames.
Danny Rinker is a young Mob soldier, but he’s keeping his distance from the fighting. Encouraged by Jocelyn, his new girlfriend, Danny spends his days in the local bar he finally owns after years of struggling. While his friends are out making names for themselves, Danny finds in the velvety touch of Jocelyn’s lips all the action he’ll ever need.
From a chance encounter, Danny learns a secret that goes to the heart of the Ghost Knights’ newfound power. If he can unravel a twenty-year-old mystery, Danny will be the one who takes the bikers down once and for all.
But Jocelyn is not all she appears. She knows things about this war that her lover can’t even imagine. Danny is about to discover that Jocelyn is a warrior, and even if it breaks her heart, she will carry on her fight to the end.
Journeys Down a Long Dark Road
Just past the Philadelphia city limits there are a cluster of neighborhoods no one on the outside pays much attention to. It’s a nice place to live, with ballfields and takeout joints around every corner. The people who’ve raised their families for generations in the rowhomes and brick houses teach their kids to work hard and keep out of trouble.
But some people aren’t interested in staying out of trouble. There are fortunes to be made in the backstreets and shady barrooms, if you can stay alive long enough to get your hands on it. Many restless souls from this forgotten place have struck out from the safe path and traveled down a long, dark road.
Journeys Down a Long Dark Road is a series of standalone crime stories set in a shared world.
Joshua has been a thief all his life. The biggest score he’s ever seen just fell into his lap. There are stacks of cash in a backroom practically waiting for the right crew to grab them. The planning and preparation have been painstaking, but years in the game have brought Joshua to this moment . . . and he’s ready!
So why is there a knot in his stomach whenever Joshua wakes up in the morning? Maybe it’s because the job breaks every rule that has kept him safe all these years. It involves guns, shady partners, and powerful people who don’t appreciate getting robbed. Or it could be the beautiful girl who’s bringing out feelings Joshua thought were just for other people. The girl who’s making him wonder if there’s something more to life than just the next score.
Only two weeks to get everything set. When the big night comes, bullets fly and friends become enemies. This job is going to end in a test of all Joshua’s skills, and a reckoning with all his demons.
Journeys Down a Long Dark Road
Just past the Philadelphia city limits there are a cluster of neighborhoods no one on the outside pays much attention to. It’s a nice place to live, with ballfields and takeout joints around every corner. The people who’ve raised their families for generations in the rowhomes and brick houses teach their kids to work hard and keep out of trouble.
But some people aren’t interested in staying out of trouble. There are fortunes to be made in the backstreets and shady barrooms, if you can stay alive long enough to get your hands on it. Many restless souls from this forgotten place have struck out from the safe path and traveled down a long, dark road.
Journeys Down a Long Dark Road is a collection of standalone crime stories set in a shared world.
