From Russia With Chilli And Garlic Sauce

Who is Johnny Two Kebabs? There has been much speculation in recent years as to whether Johnny Two Kebabs really exists. Is it true that on 15th June 2011 after drinking 13 pints of lager he polished off two doner kebabs in 1 minute 59 seconds? Is Johnny Two Kebabs just an urban legend? Is the song that was written about him and for which the video appears on the internet just in the tradition of Irish blarney and storytelling? Is it a type of celtic mythology about larger than life figures? Were the comics which mysteriously appeared on the internet in 2020 fake news? Now, at last, in his own words, Johnny Two Kebabs comes clean and in this volume he recounts how he foiled a Russian assassination in the UK. Johnny writes candidly about his experiences in the high stakes world of international intrigue and seduction. He pulls no punches in this exposé of London’s dark underworld with its assassins, Irish pubs, kebab shops and cans of super-strength lager or as Johnny likes to call it “The golden nectar that makes life worth living”.

Meet Johnny Two Kebabs

Like top athletes and artists Johnny developed certain approaches to his chosen fields of expertise, often he has described to me the “state of flow” he experiences when he achieves a particular goal. The most famous example, of course, is when he ate two done kebabs in less than two minutes (after already having downed thirteen pints of lager) but this is not Johnny’s sole achievement. Today he is as much known for his achievements as a “conscious-vigilante” as for his record-breaking achievement in Achmed’s kebab shop. In his memoirs we learn not only how Johnny operates behind the scenes in his fight against evil but also about his ‘philosophy’ and the ‘ethical’ code by which he lives. We are reminded that Johnny is one of the great ‘thinkers’ of our times and that the philospophy which he espouses transcends the limits of time being applicable to all in all eras.
Dick Wiener's Caribbean Christmas: An Overstuffed Sequel - ASIN B08C27PTRZ

“A riotous, explosive adventure novel—as hilarious as it is action-packed”

– Joelene Pynnonen, Independent Book Review

There’s trouble in paradise…and hilarious fun!


Dick Wiener traveled back in time and saved the world. Now, he just wants some rest and relaxation. But there’s trouble lurking beneath the turquoise waters near Cayo Pene. 


A mutiny on Dick’s prized new yacht, the Salty Surprise, leaves the toilet-salesman-turned-hero marooned in the tropics, with his family missing. When Dick crosses paths with benevolent drug smuggler and foodie Chavo Cortes, their stories intertwine over a cheeseburger, a half-ton of cocaine and a misplaced hand grenade.


They’re joined by Busty Bixby, an adult film star and assassin, and Father McKill, a hitman for Jesus, who show up in a storm of bullets with Wiener’s name on them. But nothing is what it seems on this imperfect getaway. They’ve all plunged neck deep into a sinister Caribbean conspiracy masterminded by a shadowy figure from Dick’s murky past. With his family in jeopardy and the birthday of the Lord approaching, Wiener must enlist a band of heroic misfits, murderers and fools to fight back.


Facing pirates, profiteers, a drug kingpin and the world’s most dangerous man—a deranged nuclear sub captain—who all aim to scuttle Dick’s dream vacation, how can Dick save Christmas, and save his family from a watery grave? The answer is to kick some ass…again.


If you enjoy the tropical vibes of Jimmy Buffett, the seat-of-your-pants action of Clive Cussler and the oddball comedy of Douglas Adams, this is the epic adventure you’ve been waiting for…


“A bewildering feat of mayhem, madness and turbulent tumescence wrapped-up in one of the most exhaustingly funny books I’ve ever read.”

– Jonathan Harries, Author, “Killing Harry Bones”

[aawp fields=”B08C27PTRZ” value=”button”]


Meet Luther Banks

Luther Banks is a television producer and lifelong storyteller who now devotes his energies to fiction writing. His stories aim to capture the human condition in all of its aspects, including those that mainstream literature conveniently ignores. In his free time, he enjoys the beach, spending time in nature, and doing the three W’s of life: woodworking, wine tasting, and writing (and wizardry).

He is the author of two books in the “Dick Wiener” series. His latest work is entitled “Dick Wiener’s Caribbean Christmas: An Overstuffed Sequel”