Meet J.L. Murray
When a horoscope-writing oracle hires shapeshifter August Shade to repo her magic eyeball, he knows the job is going to suck. One, he hates horoscopes. Two, he hates people that read horoscopes. Three, she hasn’t even lost her eyeball… yet.
August Shade has found his niche. The cynical shapeshifter knows all too well that most relationships don’t last. He also knows that after a messy breakup, most people–human or otherwise–just want two things: their stuff, and to never see their ex again. For a reasonable fee, August can help. He’s a post-relationship personal effects repossession specialist. Satisfaction not guaranteed, but at least you’ll have your favorite whatever back.
Vilde Tank has found her destiny. Guided by her horoscopes, the huldra hires August to reclaim an unusual book. It reveals the secret of the Zodiac’s thirteenth sign, bestows its reader with the power to write their own future, and is currently in the possession of her vampire ex-lover.
Clarissa Steyer has found her calling. The oracle writes horoscopes for the local paper. Her celestial predictions help keep the world spinning. Now August is in all of her visions and the world might be coming to an end. She knows that the shapeshifter can change into a lot of things, but can he change the future?
Plagued by the oracle’s horoscopes, haunted by a dark past, and grappling with his penchant for making bad decisions, the only sure thing about August’s future is that it looks short.
An Oracle Walks into a Bar is a great read for fans of Jason Pargin (John Dies at the End), Dan Willis (Arcane Casebook), Margaret Lashley (Moth Busters), and Douglas Adams (A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy).
Other titles in the series include: A Scarecrow Wins an Award and A Siren Sings Her Heart Out.
Other books by Scott Burtness include: Wisconsin Vamp, Northwoods Wolfman, and Undead Cheesehead.
Meet Scott Burtness
Folks say you should write what you know. That’s damned good advice, so I write about ordinary Midwesterners making an extraordinary mess of things. Hey- if the flannel fits…
Oh, one more thing. “Ordinary” totally includes vampires, werewolves, zombies, witches, shapeshifters, aliens and more!
A SINGLE ROUND, is a collection of short stories from a HARD PLACE. Stories of moonshine and shotguns, obsession and transcendence, love and darkness, and the blindness of human desire. Each tale follows a painful path to one ultimate realization: the devil’s deal always ends badly, often with a single round.
The head that was found on the blacktop tells a tale in Johnny Fucking Carson.
Tommy watches his dream love become a nightmare in Together Forever.
Fame has a dark side, Becoming Famous echoes the age old warning, ‘Be Careful what you wish for’.
A story of realization, loss, and transformation takes flight in Redwing.
Never judge a book by its cover, even one with fangs, as a surprise awaits in Doc’s Choice.
The Grounded, sometimes the dream of escape should remain a dream.
A tale of a man who fell in love with a woman who forgot him in The Dog Walker.
The Ride will make you second guess what you thought you were sure of.